It can be hard to find love at Penn. Lucky for you, sweet reader, Highbrow has gone Cupid and scoured the Craigslist Missed Connections for people pining for you. And for crazy people! Go forth & make out.

YOU R ONE SICK PUPPY - w4m - 6661 (PA) Date: 2011-09-11, 10:21AM EDT GREAT JOB U HAVE ONE AWARD FOR STALKER STATUS CONGRATS CONGRATS, I NO DUMMY

good girl-bbbw - w4m - 26 (west phila) Date: 2011-09-11, 11:39AM EDT i am in search of a professional black man who can have a strictly business deal. financially there are things i need as well as physically... im not getting these things done with great satisfaction, so im seeking someone who is ready to have a great time and doesn’t mind giving and receiving satisfying pleasure, and financial assistance. think of it as a employer/employee... to let me know that your real, please reply, “daddy’s here” in subject or body of reply. serious replies only...

Bobby’s Burger Palace - m4m - 24 (University City ) Date: 2011-09-11, 1:33PM EDT I was with my friend (asian girl) and you were with a group of guys sitting near the back by the bathrooms. We exchanged glances and I thought you were cute, but I didn’t approach you b/c you were with your friends. You were wearing a pink(ish) shirt and kakhi pants. Hit me up if you see this, handsome;) and let me know what I was wearing/what I look like in ur reply

shooting a water gun at people on the side walk? can i join? - m4w - 20 (west philly \baltimore ave) Date: 2011-09-08, 9:38AM EDT you live across the hall from me. occasionally we run into each other and chat about how crappy our land lord is. i know your name is Kat but not much else. i don’t really know how to tell you, but i think your beautiful and wanna get to know you better i doubt you’ll see this but if you do youll know its me cus our land lord has one leg

Your trip to the Post Office - m4w (UC 40th St) Date: 2011-09-06, 3:32PM EDT I know you don’t read these, or reply to these; however I saw you at about 1:43pm today, again... You were wearing mostly all black... Returning from the Post Office, you saw me, again, and as usual, looked kind of disappointed in me... but I just wanted to say: I THINK YOU’RE SO PRETTY!!!{because you -are- so pretty} {I was wearing a dark green polo shirt and bluejeans}{and carrying a water bottle and backpack} please reply to this post if you’d be interested in getting together for coffee or lunch. -Andy

Signs of Love - m4w - 20 (UCity) Date: 2011-09-06, 1:17PM EDT We spoke but I cant remember your name I know you know mines though because of how we met. You had a something like that situation going on. Reintroduce yourself.

Saw you at the frat... - t4w - 29 (u city) Date: 2011-09-02, 2:53AM EDT I saw you on the frat house stairs last night. You were yelling at people on the street and I knew I had to approach you. The tattoos on your back snaking their way along your shoulder blades, like some sorts of snakes. If you email me back it would be the fulfillment of all my wild dreams...and fantasies. Believvvvvve me.

Bright Smile - m4w - 30 (U City, Kiwi Yogurt) Date: 2011-08-30, 12:59PM EDT I’m the goober who walked in and said, “how does all this work,” when it was WAY obvious that it was self-serve. And you caught me off guard with your beautiful smile. Something very charming about you. Anyway...you just made my day a little brighter

you play drums, I guess. - w4m (UC PHILLY) Date: 2011-08-30, 2:23AM EDT i have a few things you need to know. 1. come here. ok? ok. i love you. if we get to know eachother better you will find i will do anything for you. you’re perfect. let me in. 2. i want you in me again. you made me c*m 3 times i think. i want to rock your world like you rock mine, babe. f*cccccccck meeeeee. please? 3. i hope you like me a little. people think i’m a little wack-o but don’t believe the hype. unless you want me to be crazy. i’m crazy about you. maybe one day i’ll show you. good night love

Nurse Max, I have a crush on you! - 23 (university city) Date: 2011-09-16, 9:09AM EDT It been almost a whole year and im pretty sure i still feel the same, youre so damned cute! youre also very sexy but you seem to be well aware of that ;)

Cute Middle Eastern(?) Dude at Koja Truck - w4m (38th & Sansom) Date: 2011-09-14, 3:31PM EDT You got the beef bulgoki (spicy) and a honey lemonade. I think you’re pretty cute. Have a great day!