Gay guy: I’ve been a SWUG since second semester freshman year.

 

Sorostitute: She thinks I’m just another elite private school, Upper East Side, Dad works on Wall Street, Ivy Leaguer... but I’m not.

 

Bro: My friend dared me to shit off the bridge. Should I do it?

 

Drunk kid at Smoke’s: What are the drink specials here?

Joe: Excuse me?


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