The boys of AXO’s annual philanthropy event, Big Man On Campus, are back. This year, they’re taller, they’re hairier and, let the record show, they’re all afraid of Dhamaka.
Ben Slocum: Chest hair. Uninhibited.
Jason Maccabee: I’m not afraid to get naked. And I’m able to eat candy corn at any time of the year.
Trevor Cassidy: Body language.
Andrew Green: How you read other people, or how you present?
Russell Abdo: It’s a lot of reading.
TC: It’s both! It’s a conversation without words.
Ben Andrew Whitenack: Well, I am really big in person. I’m 6’6” when I first wake up in the morning.
Ainesh Ravi: Oh, wow.
BAW: Gravity shrinks me down, though.
AR: I’d say sociability for me?
Harrison Cook: I’m probably the most handsome contestant.
Street: Why are you going to win BMOC?
BS: I’m probably not.
JM: That’s the spirit!
TC: As long as I don’t come in last, I’m pretty down with that.
BS: I bought my routine on Gilt.
JM: For the record, Slocum’s drunk.
AR: Just gonna go with dancing on this one. That’s all I got.
HC: My girlfriend will dump me if I don’t.
Street: Who’s your biggest competition?
BS: Yeah, Trevor!
AM: No, the Dhamaka guy! Ainesh!
AR: I have some moves.
AM: That’s not fair. He dances for a living!
AG: Let’s accept it right now. We’re all going to lose that. We can’t dance as well as Dhamaka, so we have to be sexual or funny or something.
Street: What’s your secret weapon for winning?
HC: I’ll have all the goons from ATO there to cheer for me. If you refer to them as “goons” they’ll like that.
AR: Um, I guess swag on stage.
BAW: Swag on stage? Damn, I can’t compete with that.
AM: I made an underwear calendar freshman year. I think I’m going to rerelease the photos. You’ll see a younger man—but don’t worry, he’s over 18.
JM: A stuffed bathing suit.
TC: I have a pretty luscious team of backup dancers.
AS: That’s such a politically correct answer! That’s what the world wants to hear.
JM: “I was lifted up by my backup dancers.”
RA: Let the record show I took two of Trevor’s backup dancers from last year, when he won.
Street: How would you define manhood in one word?
AM: Facial hair.
BS: That’s two words.
JM: That’s, like, double the word count.
RA: If you say it really fast it can be one word, like, “fashuhair.”
BS: Woah, shit just got real. Puberty.
JM: I’m taking “Puberty.”
BS: No, Ben Slocum said “puberty!”
JM: No, fuck him—he’s drunk!
TC: Is there a word for if one ball is bigger than the other?
HC: Sticktoitiveness. Stick–to–it–ive–ness.
BAW: I’ll say confidence for mine.
AR: I would go for “quick thinking” here, but I clearly don’t have that.
HC: You can say “quickthinkingiveness.”
AR: Alright, “quickthinkingiveness.”
Street: Who’s your favorite Disney Princess and why?
RA: Mulan! The obvious answer.
TC: Jasmine. She’s, like, the first ethnic–ass princess.
RA: Yeah, but Mulan did it better.
BS: Who’s the new one?
JM: I’ll take “Princess and the Frog.”
BS: Damnit! That’s what I wanted.
JM: Do you even know her name, though?
TC: Her name’s Tiana.
AG: Ariel. She’s fucking crazy.
AM: Belle. She’s a classic.
AR: Gonna go with Jasmine on this one. She’s Indian. She’s gorgeous. The long, flowing hair gets me.
BAW: Princess Fiona, because she’s Cameron Diaz. She’s really great, and she’s cool with looking like a princess or an ogre.
HC: Cinderella. She started from the bottom.
Street: There are two types of people at Penn…
BS: Those that buy from Pizza Rustica, and those that don’t.
JM: People who lived in King’s Court, and people who didn’t.
RA: People that are regulars at Evan’s Pizza, and people who aren’t.
AM: The Blarney’s vs. Smokes crowd is a classic.
HC: NARPs and athletic people.
AR: I’ve never heard of “NARP” before. I used to do track though.
BAW: I guess I’m a NARP right now, too.
HC: Yeah, technically.
AR: We’re has–beens. We’re washed up.
Street: How will you prepare for BMOC?
JM: I’ll need a bear cub. Where can I find a competitive bear club?
BS: Diet Coke, Sweetgreen and HipCityVeg.
JM: Let the record show that Slocum’s in SDT. Slocum Delta Tau. Put that in.
TC: I’d probably marathon “Mob Wives” just to get the show’s competitive spirit. “Ya don’t want fuckin’ love comin out ya jugular. Ya gonna get your jaw wiped Maccabee!“
RA: I’ll prepare with a lot of picklebacks. It’s a shot of whiskey chased by pickle juice.
AG: Lots of underground dance fighting.
AR: I’m gonna get a gymnastics gym and work on my flips. If I can get that down.
BAW: Damn. I’m intimidated.
HC: If I say karaoke and squatting deep, will you print that?
Street: What is one reason people should see BMOC?
JM: Support the troops?
AM: Women’s rights.
TC: It’s for fucking charity.
BS: Let’s start a list, guys. For America, women’s rights… get God in there.
AG: Our lord and savior, Jesus Christ.
TC: Everyone’s parents.
AR: Well, it’s a good cause. A good cause and seeing 24 shirtless men dance.
HC: You can hang out with the brothers of ATO. The goons.
BAW: I don’t see any downside to it. It’ll be fun. It’s a good cause. We’re gonna make fools of ourselves.