Disclaimer: the content you are about to read is not quite a recap, but rather an emotional rant about season nine so far and all the disappointment and frustration it brings. 

This week’s episode of “How I Met Your Mother” was a step up from last week’s, but that’s not saying very much. Expectations are getting in the way of any of this season being good or appreciated. We’ve been with these characters for over eight seasons now, and we laughed the whole way through. I’m still laughing (sometimes) but not quite as hard and with a sigh of disappointment after thirty minutes of un-legendary television.

The best part of the episode is that The Mother returns, and we see Ted propose to her. It’s really sweet. They’re on top of a lighthouse, which is cute, but a Penn student in Video I could have done a better job with the green screen. It works, to a certain extent. The Mother currently has about a 50/50 approval rating with the fans (from the not at all extensive research I did by asking friends and perusing Google), which is not at all where it should be. After all this time, The Mother kinda has to be the best person ever, but right now, she’s not really a person at all. She had a personality on the train scene in the season’s premiere. Where did it go? (We miss it so.)

Then, there was the sad bit about Robin’s mother being too afraid to get on the plane and not being able to attend her daughter’s wedding. It’s just depressing. And to top it all off, we are reminded that Robin is not biologically able to have children. (Apparently, in the world of “How I Met Your Mother,” there are no other ways to have children besides the typical one. Adoption? Surrogates? In-vitro fertilization? Is it not 2013?)

Also, isn’t this supposed to be a comedy? The jokes were so mediocre. It’s possible that the “How I Met Your Mother” writers were, by some freak accident, replaced by the writers of “Two Broke Girls.” That would explain so much.

I want to like it all; I really do. I want to love this season and be obsessed with it and compulsively re-watch every episode on Netflix. But I’m just not that into it.

P.S. There is no way Lily Aldrin is strong enough to crush multiple glasses with a single hand, just saying.