Girl on Locust: Honestly, I am so into homosexuals.

 

OCRing junior: I’m gonna work at Walnut Street Capital. It’s jerking off a homeless man under a bridge for 25 cents.

 

Olympics enthusiast: Rooting for Russia is like rooting for Voldemort.

 

VP scholar: I’m like relaxed enough to be from the West Coast but cynical enough to be from the East Coast, you know?

 

Sorostitute: I wish I could say I don’t love dads anymore, but I do.


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