Freshman girl: Where’s Molly? I lost Molly! Do you know where I can find Molly? No, Molly Schwartz!
Engineering boy: Dude, that line was so long. Yeah, I’ve done so many lines today: the line to get into the quad, the line at the fried oreo stall, the line for the portapottys...
ADPI Senior: Let’s take a shot! Vodka? No, with this cool disposable camera from Urban. Quick, get in the frame for a photo, we’re gonna look so hipster!
Everyone: Yeah, I missed the concert too.
Disclaimer: This section is fake. But we have one truth bomb for you: DAVID GUETTA IS 46 YEARS OLD. Real talk. May all your flings be black(out).
