Hill: These residents aren’t here by choice. They’ll likely be living on top of their roommates (and inevitably have different sleeping schedules) but will rep their floor–color combo like there’s no tomorrow. #hillpride will stay strong in their hearts/haunt them forever.

Quad: Freshmen here have hit the real estate jackpot. The seniors here are the coolest RAs. The sophomores...that’s another story. This rare breed usually winds up here when all other options fall through, when one is a transfer, or when a DERP.

Beige block: Frat stars and sorostitutes alike love to SABS on these stoops. The immediate proximity to Metro comes in handy for all those Thursday–Sunday hangovers.

Domus: Living here is like finding the gold at the end of the rainbow—too bad it costs every leprechaun dollar you’ve got to live here. Swanky housing with fine amenities don’t come cheap, you know. Plus, when the temperature drops, watch these residents rack up their Uber charges getting to and from Smoke’s. [Ed note: Can we come over for dinner sometime?]

The Sorority house: A unique combination of love and hate, all under one roof. These girls share everything from boys to clothes to anything left unlabeled in the fridge. Show sympathy to those in triples and envy those in singles.

The Frat house: Staples of these dilapidated residences include empty kegs, endless cases of Natty Light, stray ping pong balls and once–elevated surfaces, now broken. These residents are an insurance nightmare waiting to happen—but ever-gracious hosts.

Rittenhouse Square: Do they even go here?