Blue Kamikaze: Nerd, who even knows how to make a blue kamikaze?! You definitely Googled that. Nobody wants a Googler on sprang break.

Sangria: Stop trying to be your mom. You’ll never attain her level of fucking class, so get something else to drink. Give up the drink, or give up your self–respect.

Watermelon and blackberry margarita popsicles: You have the Pinterest app on your phone. Stop planning your wedding; none of the boys in PV want to marry you.

Sex on the Beach: You watch a lot of Bravo. 

Corona: You read on a Kindle and write with a pencil. You have dreams of fixing up a muscle car. You don't like your birthday.

OJ and Malibu: You watched the llama chase, and you’re not ashamed.

Pinot Noir: Congratulations! You’ve seen the movie Sideways.