Fling, Lower Quad, Mask and Wig Show: Cover your junk with a pan or something because you are drunk, naked and in front of like 400 people. Happy senior year idiot. Hopefully Barclays won't see the FB posts.
Addams Hall, Room 005, Figure Drawing: What is art? It is a feeling. The feeling of sweaty buns to a weird middle chair as a bunch of freshman draw you. How will they capture your weird birthmark? It has so many textures.
Blurr Night Club, Stall, Peeing while wearing a jumpsuit/romper: Nasty Gal romper, on fleek. But you have had 3 Long Islands (thanks Oz) and now it is time to break the seal. You are going to have to strip and it is going to be more awkward than going to Atlantis. That statement necklace is already stuck to your bando. Fuck.
Off Campus Apartment, Between 40th and 41st and Pine, Having sex: Don't be that guy who has sex with his shirt on. We don't care if you are overweight, there is nothing worse than a man in a shirt without pants.
Church, Baltimore, Morning service: Adam and Eve were born naked. You too cast off your sin as well as your clothes to commune with god. You are a rebel. You do not care what Miss Nina and her bridge club think of you.
