Girl on Locust: I hate girls that be like I'm Persian... Bitch, you from Iran.
CURF rep: You haven't researched at Penn until you've tried psychedelics. All great discoveries require experimentation.
Girl to her roommate: I pulled down my romper, but I didn't pull down my underwear, and then I just started peeing.
Gay alum: I’m considering doing acid this autumn with a few trusted colleagues.
Boy on phone with his father: I'm thinking about buying a cat. What? Yes, a live one. You think I'm going to order a dead cat?