Girl on Locust: I hate girls that be like I'm Persian... Bitch, you from Iran.

CURF rep: You haven't researched at Penn until you've tried psychedelics. All great discoveries require experimentation.

Girl to her roommate: I pulled down my romper, but I didn't pull down my underwear, and then I just started peeing.

Gay alum: I’m considering doing acid this autumn with a few trusted colleagues.

Boy on phone with his father: I'm thinking about buying a cat. What? Yes, a live one. You think I'm going to order a dead cat?


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