Eligible bachelorette: I'm saving butt stuff for when I'm like, 60.

West Philly kid: Bitch, I fucked you for 3 hours yesterday and you didn't even suck my dick.

Potential Hufflepuff: I don't know if I want to go out tonight, my feet are too sore from quidditch practice.

Hot betch: I don't understand why they make Hervés in a size large.

MBA 1: Being in the Peace Corps really made me realize what I wanted to do.

Undergrad: Which was...?

MBA 2: Oil and gas investment banking.