Contemplative drunkard: I respect his decision to be sober, but how are we supposed to hook up if we're both not hammered?

Boy slurping arugula: This school is nasty with bullshit. That's how people get jobs.

Girl talking about abroad: My host mom poured sweet milk on my hand, and I had to lick it off like a cat in front of everyone.

Blonde junior in Huntsman: I literally touched his dick and shit went everywhere—it was like Mt. Vesuvius.

SAE Bro: I just really really like the taste of Natty. I have a deep appreciation for its natural taste.

Hot betch: You look like my asshole when I haven't gotten a wax in a long time.


Comments

All comments eligible for publication in Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc. publications.