You’ve already disappointed yourself and violated every one of your unrealistic New Year’s Resolutions. So instead of making a home for yourself under your covers and queuing up a random Netflix documentary, here are some better ways to spend your time in the new year.
1) For your inner alcoholic:
1 South 15th Street
Start your evening by skating on the Rothman Institute Ice Rink (ccdparks.org/dilworth-park/rothmanicerink) at Dilworth Park and then head over to Rosa Blanca Café (ccdparks.org/dilworth-park/rosa-blanca-cafe) or the new Rothman Cabin to sip $3 beer, $4 wine or $5 seasonal mojitos. Or maybe all of the above? Plus, all food is ten percent off, which renders it completely acceptable to order three appetizers. And maybe one more to take home.
Hours: 5 p.m.-9 p.m. every Wednesday
$: Especially worth it if your date is paying. If not, treat yoself. Plus, ice–skating is a workout, right? $5 admission, $9 skate rental.
Who to bring: That reliable fuckboy you’re trying to tame into the chivalrous fellow your grandma keeps asking about or your best frenemy that you'd love to see fall on her ass when she gets a little too tipsy on the ice.
2) If you still laugh at Spongebob:
4231 Avenue of the Republic
The Please Touch Museum (pleasetouchmuseum.org) is the perfect place to go when your “Penn Face” game is too strong. Exhibits such as the Imagination Playground, an outdoor space filled with giant building blocks to make your own fantasy play areas, and Wonderland, full of trippy optical illusions á la Alice, will unleash your (not–so) inner child and make you forget what BEPP even stands for.
Hours: Monday-Saturday, 9 a.m.-5 p.m.; Sunday, 11 a.m.-5 p.m.
$$: General admission for children and adults is $17 and it costs an additional $3 to ride the century-old Woodside Park Dentzel Carousel (pleasetouchmuseum.org/play/carousel-2/). But if you get together a group of fifteen or more to leave the dark confines of VP for an adventure, you can call for reservations and get group discounts.
Who to bring: Younger siblings or your grandmother. Who not to bring: your cell phone. Embrace your carefree seven-year-old self. Instagram sounded like a made-up word in 2003.
3) If you cried after your last SoulCycle class over winter break:
Core Power's website (corepoweryoga.com) immediately greets you with perfectly chiseled bodies bending in ways you never thought were humanly possible. With over 140 studios nationwide and celebrity fans like Reese Witherspoon and Vanessa Hudgens, CorePower’s motto, “see the difference between a workout that changes your body and one that changes your life,” speaks for itself. Classes range from beginner to advanced, with room temperatures that increase with difficulty up to 104 degrees Fahrenheit. Cult-favorite Yoga Sculpt classes are ideal for people who enjoy yoga but need something faster-paced. Plus, the music is awesome: think Drake and Coldplay instead of new-agey hippie chants.
Hours: 6 a.m.-10 p.m. Daily
$$$: After your first complimentary visit, you'll receive one week of unlimited classes for FREE–what a beautiful word. But after that honeymoon phase, single classes cost $23.
Who to bring: Your roommate who has seen you covered in your own vomit and won’t be fazed if you look more wet than dry after a single class.
4) If you're already hyperventilating about OCR:
534 East Girard Avenue
Silent meditation is soooo 2015. Test out sensory deprivation at Flotation Philly (flotationphilly.com), where you can float in an 8–by–4 foot tank filled with water that has five times the salt content of the Dead Sea, which guarantees total buoyancy. If being confined in a dark, soundproof metal box for up to 90 minutes sounds like a claustrophobia-induced panic attack waiting to happen, you might want to sit this one out. However, according to research studies at the Medical College of Ohio, floating has been proven to alleviate stress, anxiety and depression. Regular floaters report pain relief and reduced muscle tension. But maybe that’s just due to the Xanax people are probably popping to be okay with being trapped inside a metal tomb.
Hours: 9 a.m.-9 p.m. Daily
$$$: The shortest float, lasting 45 minutes, rings in at $45. Prices increase to $60 for a whopping 90 minutes spent floating.
5) For when you really need an upgrade from Allegro’s:
115 East Girard Avenue
Coined the best pizza in America (bonappetit.com/people/chefs/article/beddia) by Bon Appétit Magazine, Pizzeria Beddia is situated on the nondescript corner of East Girard Avenue and Shackamaxon Street in Fishtown. It’s run by two employees, has no seating for customers or phone line and only serves 40 pies per day. Foodies beware: the commoner pizza we’re all used to will never taste the same after visiting this joint.
Hours: 5:30 p.m.-10:30 p.m. Wednesday-Saturday. If you get there an hour early, it's extremely likely that you'll still be waiting in line for over two hours. Translation: it's probably easier to assassinate the president.
$$: $19-$23 per 16-inch pie, cash only