Jewish boy in Hillel: Anyway, I was born jaundiced. 

Girl walking with her friends: So my birthday's on 4/20, right? I've decided we're going to get super high and then fill the bathtub with noodles and swim in it.

Huntsman betch: I didn't eat at Papa John's for 10 years because they burned the crust.

Absolute savages at Smokes': Anyways, we're going to Atlantis from here. Then The Pit [AKA Legion Bar]. Then, we're doing a bunch of coke. 

Amy Gutmann to girl on Locust: I really like your sweatshirt.