Glaringly douchey frat bro on Locust: I have got to stop being so nice. Ya know, to girls that aren't hot and stuff.

Beta blowhard: I told her she was one cheeseburger away from becoming obese.

Srat star at the Palestra: Are we in DRL right now?

Phi pledge at Wawa: Ding, ding, ding. I have a small penis!

Insightful girl walking out of class: At night, he drunkenly sent me Drake lyrics, so that’s how I knew he was into me.

Frat guy leaving Smokes': Does anyone want to know how much my tab was?


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