With the monsoon–like rain, Highbrow hopes your week has gone swimmingly. Just kidding, we’re drowning in midterms too. It’s a good thing we have all your gossip to keep us afloat. Keep your floaties on, kids—just because you’re holding out for spring break doesn’t mean things won’t get a lil stormy on campus. 

Last weekend, Jazz and Grooves hosted a variation on the Great American Challenge (Ed Note: Look it up if you're not familiar!) in a basement on campus. But instead of completing a puzzle at the end, teams had to complete a lap around the ice rink at Drake and Skate. Those with decent survival instincts steered clear of the ice when they arrived, but one cross-faded guy gave it a shot. He wiped out, injured his ankle, and a worker had to come onto the ice in sneakers to rescue him. He claims his only regret was the disappointing sound system at Drake and Skate. We guess he didn’t need to go downtown to get, “Groovy, baby.”

Mis-snakes, mis–snakes. We all make ‘em, right? S–S–Sources tell us that one Butcher resident had bought himself a little slithery friend/sidekick and was keeping it hidden in his Quad dorm. All was well until recently, when a group of drunk freshmen boys were playing with the snake and lost it in the quad. Looks like that fake friend lingering from NSO wouldn’t be the only snake in the grass on your hall. Highbrow suspects some freshmen might be having some hiss-y fits until they locate Ware it is.

That wasn’t the only questionable housing situation this weekend. After her date night, one SK lady wooed her TEP date back to her house, only to be sexiled by her roommate. Rather than let their hookup plans be deterred, the desirous duo rented a room at the nearby Sheraton. Looks like our dates were really hot(el) to trot, right? Highbrow hears that upon making it to the room, the two ended up passing out before having any intercourse, and then woke up the next morning blackout and very confused. We honestly haven’t seen such a failed attempt of throwing down so much money for sex since our last outing at Smokes’, but we hope their night was still suite.

It wouldn’t hurt a few Quakers to get their minds (and livers) out of the gutter though. During an OAX–Castle function at a bowling alley, a very drunk Castle boy slid on his stomach down the bowling lane on towards the pins. Looks like the manager didn’t want to let it slide. One worker ran down the gutter, grabbed him by the back of his collar and shouted at everyone to get out. Highbrow thought it was three strikes and you’re out, but apparently it only takes one.


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