Netflix is releasing Season 4 of Orange is the New Black on June 17th. Whether you’re having people over to watch a few episodes or hiding in your room watching the entire season in one sitting, Street has you covered.
Screening parties are great because they provide the chance to make interesting food, get creative with drinks and get in on the hype of something you don’t normally care about (read: sports). They are relatively stress–free because entertainment is provided and also relatively cheap because all you’re really doing is staying home and watching TV.
Red, Litchfield’s proud Ruski chef, was my inspiration for most of the recipes below. Don’t worry, I skipped the Dirty Tampon Sandwich, the Pornstache Piss Gravy, and the Solitary Moldy Baloney.
Chicken (That Is Smarter Than Other Chickens) Tenders with Garlic Butter Dip
Season 1, Episode 5
For the chicken:
1lb of boneless, skinless chicken
1 cup of whole wheat flour
1 tbsp of ground paprika or cumin
1 tbsp of salt
½ tsp of black pepper
2 large eggs
1 cup of whole wheat bread crumbs
75g of grated parmesan cheese
Oil for spraying
For the garlic butter:
150g of butter, softened
4 cloves of garlic
Salt and pepper to taste
Fresh basil to taste
1. Preheat oven to 400f and spray some oil onto a baking sheet.
2. Cut the chicken into strips.
3. In one dish, mix the flour, paprika or cumin, and salt. In another, whisk the eggs. In another, mix the Parmesan and breadcrumbs.
4. Dip the chicken strips in the flour until it is coated and shake off any excess. Then dip in the egg mixture, then the breadcrumbs. Once a strip is well coated, place it on the pan and bake for 10mins.
5. Chop up the garlic as small as you can (if you have a mincer, use it).
6. In a small bowl, whip the butter and garlic with a fork. Add salt, pepper and basil to taste.
7. Open the oven and turn the chicken over with a fork. Cook for another 10mins.
8. Remove the chicken from the oven onto a plate. Serve with the garlic butter as a dipping sauce.
He’s Not an Eggplant He’s Retarded Dip
Season 1, Episode 2
3 yellow onions
3 cloves of garlic
Salt and pepper
Something to dip: chips, toast, carrots and pita all work
1. Preheat oven to high broil.
2. Cut the eggplant into thin disks and sprinkle each with salt on both sides.
3. Place in a sieve and leave to dry for 15 minutes.
4. Chop the onions and cook over low heat on a skillet with a little bit of oil. Stir often.
5. Chop or mince the garlic as small as you can.
6. Rinse the eggplant lightly and press dry between two paper towels.
7. Arrange disks on baking tray and drizzle with oil and sea salt. Place in oven for 2 minutes.
8. After 4 minutes, flip the eggplant and return to oven.
9. Add garlic to caramelizing onions, which should by now be brown. Stir. After 3 minutes, remove onion mixture from the heat and eggplant from the oven.
10. Remove the skin from the eggplant and discard
11. Mix and mash eggplant, onion mixture, salt, pepper and cumin in a bowl. If you have a blender, that works too.
12. Garnish with a sprinkle of cumin. Serve hot or place in the fridge for 1hr.
If you’re under 21, buying and consuming alcohol is against the law and could potentially land you in prison. Which would be extra festive.
Prison Hooch Sangria
Season 2, Episode 10 (for example)
Red Wine or Rose
The ratio of Wine to Sprite is 1:1. Chill until ready to serve. Then add the frozen fruit en lieu of ice cubes.
Taystee Cocktail (Looks Blue, Tastes Red)
Season 2, Episode 2
Blue food coloring
This one is probably obvious, but I will say that the flavored vodka allows for a 1:1 ratio of sprite to alcohol. And blue food coloring can ruin crockery, so use disposable cups.
Pour into mugs. This one is probably obvious too.
If you’re going all out, you’re going to need this. Difficult, since the show is set in a mostly–drab prison. But here are a few ideas.
Cover your door in plain printer paper and draw horizontal lines across it. When people arrive, make them take a picture in front of it, holding a solo cup with their name on it— this way, your party will definitely end up on Instagram. Then tell them to get naked, squat and cough. Just kidding, don’t do that. A good host welcomes contraband.
Shrine to Norma
Season 3, Episode 13
Toast a piece of bread and prop it up against a candlestick. Light the candle and place it prominently in the main party room.
Even though the point of a screening party is to watch the show, you should have some engaging games lined up. Just in case someone shows up who isn’t a true fan.
The Orange Is The New Black Drinking Game
I had to make this pretty general as I haven’t actually seen the new episodes yet. But I tried this using an episode from Season 3 as a proxy with great success.
Drink every time:
1. You see Sophia (Laverne Cox) and think about how Caitlyn Jenner shouldn’t have even been Time Magazine’s Transgender Woman Who Is On Television of the Year.
2. A fight turns into a sex scene. Or a sex scene turns into a fight.
3. Someone has a flashback that causes you to feel empathy (and subsequently to question the entire concept of criminal justice in the United States).
4. The proportion of sexually active lesbian women to other humans strikes you as, at best, biologically improbable.
5. The religious motivations behind a character’s actions make no sense.
6. Someone’s flashback reveals that their current criminal status derives directly from the psychological ramifications of poor parenting.
7. The prison guards fail to police an illicit activity that is necessary to drive the plot forward.
9. Butt cheeks.
10. A male character has an orgasm that makes you seriously consider abstinence.
11. Someone trusts a character who has unequivocally proven themselves untrustworthy.
12. Food is used as a weapon.
13. The disparity of attractiveness within a couple is baffling.
14. A female character successfully performs a badass exploitation of the bigoted, sexist attitudes of a male character for her own means.
15. You see the title sequence. Because even though this list is rather salty, we’re all going to watch the entire season in one sitting anyway.