How to Be the BEST Starbucks Customer

Bust in and cut the whole line because you’re the only person there who has class in five minutes.

See your BEST FRIEND SOPHIE walk in two minutes later and tell her to cut the line with you.

Discuss NOTHING but the fact that you have legitimately and literally NO ONE to take to your date night tomorrow because all the boys you’ve hooked up with are pigs but also you’re a little emotionally unstable right now because of what Josh did to you but you also want to make Josh jealous but can you do that by taking his best friend whose name is also Josh?

Cry.

Get to the counter and realize you can’t decide if you want a caramel macchiato iced or a pumpkin spice latte.

Ask which one has more calories.

Ask Sophie if you should get the pumpkin because it’s been tough with Josh even though you yelled at her to yell at you when you consume too much sugar.

Go with the pumpkin.

Change your order because the last girl Josh hooked up with would NEVER get pumpkin. She def drinks her coffee black.

Realize you forgot your wallet in the Radian and ask if you can venmo Sophie or the cashier, literally whatever is easiest for them.

While you’re waiting, see Josh # 1 and run out of Starbucks.

Ten minutes later when you know he’s gone, go back inside and order all over again.