Girl in Geology #1: How was your summer? 

Girl in Geology #2: Eh, I got Zika. It wasn’t that bad. 

Rejected Freshman at Phi: But I was here for Quaker Days! 

Sheltered Girl: I think that’s the saddest thing that happened to me—learning that Harambe was shot. 

Two minutes later: Wait he was shot right? 

Sexpert: No, honestly, I think if you had ever thrown up giving head you would understand. 

Girl in stranger’s bed: I wake up and there’s this kid with his dick out doing yoga. 


Comments

All comments eligible for publication in Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc. publications.