If your current flame also happens to live in the same dorm as you, you get the privilege of an indoor walk of shame. This is a special time in your life and will most likely never happen again in your remaining three years––unless you come back and are “that RA.”
Getting to say things like “I live in the nipple.”
Penn dining hall food may not be Philadelphia’s finest, but being attached to a dining hall makes getting up in the morning a little bit easier. Plus, it’s more socially acceptable to wear pajamas at these locations, which is always a benefit.
Choosing to go “gender neutral” when it comes to bathrooms can be super awkward if you’re dropping a deuce and you recognize the shower shoes of your crush entering the vicinity. But, conversely, it also means you literally shower inches from them without it being some creepy stalker move (looking at you, attractive blonde boy from the hall next to mine).
Being in the “sceney” part of your dorm and getting to hear all the gossip without having to “find the plug” because you literally live in it.
Can someone please let us know why the new College House is the nicest thing to hit Penn’s campus? We’re down to sacrifice location for brand new singles and suites. Also someone please solve the mystery of how it took them practically a summer to build it while it took approximately three times longer to build Perry World House…Even if your hall is mainly composed of #NSOBesties, living in such close proximity to such a large portion of your class makes it really easy to get to know people. In later years you can create meaningless bonds with people by saying things like “Wait you were in Bodine? I was in Morgan!” Instant friendship.
Free food from random adult authority figures. Be it your RA, GA or that dean who really wants to get to know everybody, they know free Insomnia is the way to any freshman’s heart.
Dirty looks of disappointment from the security when you come back plastered and try swiping in with a flyer you found on the ground but then realize it’s not your PennCard so you have to go to the check–in counter and face even more judgment.
Swiping into your dorm in general #MertCentral but also #AnnoyingAF.
McClelland. It’s like you want to love it but you know that the sushi has been sitting there for days and that every person you pass with it in your hand is judging you for even considering it as a viable food option.
Twin beds. Don’t even get us started on the romantic hindrances of those things… there are just too many.
When Penn thinks they are slick and turn a single into a double so you literally sleep four feet away from your roommate. It’s basically like non–stop cuddling, which would be cute if you got along, but you don’t. So there’s that.
RAs that take their job seriously and decide to host “mandatory” meetings every week. These are also the RAs that will cite you whenever they feel like it just because they have the power to do so.
Laundry is shit. It’s always overcrowded and inconveniently placed throughout the buildings. Also, laundry sharks are real people who suck and put your clean wet clothes on the nasty laundry floor and steal the dryers when it’s not their turn. Not that we’re bitter or anything, though.
Being in the “left over” college houses. We’re still unsure where Gregory is… Also it takes way too long to realize that Stouffer is parallel to the Quad. Living in Stouffer is like hating from outside of the quad because you can’t even get in (past 2 a.m.).
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