My freshman year diet consisted of Allegro's and Frontera. The closest I came to working out was dancing on elevated surfaces and doing yin yoga. This year I'm trying to eat greens other than marzipan and actually exercise. Luckily, I discovered Skyfit: an on–demand, audio fitness app where trainers guide your runs. I went on four runs with Skyfit because I'm
a masochist trying to stay in shape this semester.
Speed Pop Session (4.0 miles) – Monday
5:08 p.m. I throw on my running clothes and trot down Locust. A bubbly blonde with vocal fry shouts in my ear. Am I back at Equinox Palo Alto?
5:22 p.m. My trainer Meghan tells me I'm doing great. Closer thumps through my headphones and I feel like I'm in a music video.
5:39 p.m. I run under a bridge and suddenly Meghan goes offline. WTF, Meghan, I thought we had a connection?!
Quick Hit (1.2 miles) – Tuesday
6:44 p.m. I switch to another bubbly blonde trainer. This one's named Rochelle.
6:45 p.m. Rochelle tells me to sprint. Some guys at Penn Park have strong opinions about this but fuck the patriarchy.
6:47 p.m. Is sprinting this long even possible? I feel like a dying walrus.
6:51 p.m. Rochelle encourages me to "finish strong" but I'm limping past the Quad.
6:54 p.m. Recovery jog. Thank God.
Power Sprints (4.5 miles) – Wednesday
4:38 p.m. I run past DRL feeling neither powerful nor like sprinting. Why did I decide this was a good idea?
4:43 p.m. My feet are broken. I make intense eye contact with someone I'm avoiding, proving the universe hates me.
4:49 p.m. Candice says she can tell my intensity is up, but for all she knows I could be chowing down on Shake Shack. In fact I probably am.
5:02 p.m. Candice yells "sprint!" as I relieve my bladder. Go away, Candice.
5:24 p.m. Heat exhaustion sets in. Cold Water pounds in the background as my vision fades to black.
Slay the Day (3.0 miles) – Thursday
5:23 p.m. This workout is Beyoncé themed so naturally I treat Walnut like it's my catwalk.
5:29 p.m. Jessica tells me I look awesome. Damn straight.
5:32 p.m. Jog past OCR to Sorry.
5:41 p.m. Sprint intervals but Beyoncé is playing so it's fine.
5:52 p.m. Jessica says walking is a bad way to recover from a workout and she wants a few more minutes out of me. Am I being watched?!
Final Thoughts: If you like peppy trainers cheering you on while you run, download Skyfit. If you'd rather listen to JBiebs whisper sweet nothings into your ear, save yourself the $10/month subscription.