Going out is all about going over the top. Too many shots. Too much makeup. Too great an Uber surge. Besides getting shit–faced, you’re also putting a ton of shit in your belly. After drinking your weight in alcohol, you scarf down greasy goodness—Allegro's Pizza, Wishbone, a Wawa quesadilla or perhaps a combination of all three. A hearty brunch is only mandatory the next morning to curb the hangover.
Yet one night shouldn’t pack on your whole Freshman 15. With intention and a little creativity, you can find plenty of ways to stave off calories and even torch them in the wee hours—I managed to burn 700 in one night according to my FitBit. Who knew staying in was actually the activity costing you?
- Embrace “taking a lap:” No matter how much you wanted to strangle the “frat stars” who told your freshman crew to come back in a couple minutes, you have to accept the idea if you want to squeeze the most exercise out of your night. Like taking the stairs, it's all about the little extra steps that add up to big results.
- Uber a little farther: If your night involves a BYO or downtown, set the tone right by going the extra mile. That’s right—choose a pickup or drop off that’s a bit of a trek from the ideal location.
- Hello Franzia—your new hand weight: So you made it to the BYO, everyone has ordered, but you’re going to wait forever for all 30 dishes to get here. Before the table jumps on the solo cups, grab the Franzia to throw in some arm curls.
- DIY Zumba: Whether in a club or a crowded frat house, the dance floor is the ideal spot for a workout. Think about it. It’s hot like a sauna. Crowded like an obstacle course. And dim enough that you can’t be ashamed of your sweat or skills. Drag your friends to the center of the party like you drag them to Zumba class.
- Climb that elevated surface: Keep up that gym class mentality and approach the next elevated surface not as a basic b’s object of affection but as a step box. Channel your Jane Fonda and hop up that table without any help. Jump down. Repeat.
- Hike the frat house: You probably already do this without much thought, but make a conscious effort to explore every inch of the frat houses you visit. Go to each floor, peer inside all the rooms and quickly slam the door if it’s getting too busy in there (arm workout).
- SEX: Did you know that sex can burn anywhere from 85 to 100 calories in a steamy half hour?
- Stairs of shame: After your orgasmic workout, you can’t just let the walk of shame go to waste. Take the stairs if stranded in a High Rise (hey, it’s better than the Quad) regardless of the floor number. Speed walk along Locust. Consider this your trial for the Sceney Olympics, complete with a body–con dress and heels in hand.
- Heels of hell: Speaking of heels, there’s this notion that wearing them burns more calories. While the final word is up in the air, it’s certain they make calves look amazing yet hurt like a mother by the end of the night. That has to be worth something, right?
- Carry service: Be grateful for that friend that always becomes dysfunctional in a couple of hours; he/she provides the perfect occasion to bench a few pounds. Carry them to their room, whether in piggy back or cradle form. Your feeling of self–worth will flourish as your body gets swole.