Instead of hitting the books, Penn’s been hitting the scene. Since we know you’ve prioritized drinking over studying for midterms, Highbrow’s here to save some time with the TL;DR version of the weekend.
After a short break from celebrating the holiest days of the year, a group of Jewish Penn students decided to jump right back into the high holiday spirit by redefining what it means to light up the sukkah. In the midst of a JRP social event, one Mask & Wig boy and four SDT girls made their way into the makeshift pop–up sukkah. Instead of passing the lulav and etrog, these religious rebels opted for passing the joint. After managing to hotbox the sukkah, the stoned students made their way back to the party claiming that it was the high(light) of their night.
Things got even holier this weekend when one brother from St. A’s decided to christen the backlot at Sammy date night. He and his fellow A’s(hole) brothers were drunkenly wandering about the tented event, looking like a bunch of misfits compared to the formal attire of the guests. To the horror of the attendees and in an act of Divine Urination, the wayward soul peed inside the event. Luckily for him, his brothers were on a mission to save this paschal lamb from further humiliation and shepherded him back to A’s territory.
Solve this Penn–centric riddle: Two Chi O girls, two SDT girls and the rest of Penn’s undergrad population walk into a bar. Four more legs exited the bar than entered. What happened? Turns out the drunken sorority co–op wanted to make a grand exit from Blarney and took one of the establishment’s chairs with them on their way out. They then walked up and down the streets of Philadelphia taking turns carrying their prize around. The trophy for the evening now resides in one of the Chi O girls' kitchens to serve as a reminder of the greatness that can come with inter–Greek collaboration.
More milestones were celebrated when a TEP sophomore hosted an elaborate birthday party at a Philadelphia art gallery, where he lavishly stocked the bar with wine and champagne. In order to create a stylish photo–op, one of his friends bought giant balloons that spelled out “happy 20.” Since the venue was expecting its party–goers to be legal, the sight of an underage birthday boy wasn’t exactly what they’d had in mind. They told him that he'd have to cancel the party or they'd call the cops. Fearing that the only birthday shot he'd be taking that night would be a mugshot, the host slipped the bouncer $300 so that the party could go on. At least next year he won’t have to worry about the legal implications of his turnup.