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Highbrow knows how difficult your week can be and we are here to sympathize (Ed. note: bitch) with you.

The OCRver Achiever.

Highbrow knows how stressful finding that perfect summer internship can be—Penn is just about as pre–professional as it gets. But some of you Whartonites and few Arts–and–Crafters take it to the next level, and honestly, it's just uncomfortable. You walk into some random bank's info session for the free spring rolls and a Poland Spring water bottle, but it suddenly becomes more difficult for you to move about the room. You see other Penn kids run around in suits from all corners of the room, pushing their resumes at recruiters. Where the hell are those spring rolls? A representative says, “If you are a freshman and you’ve already signed in, please take a seat.” You think, wait, there’s no way freshman kids are here. But alas, you turn to look at the slide deck title page projected onto the board and read “Goldman Sachs: Freshman Info Session.” You've barely picked a template for your resume, and now there are freshman trying to trample you just to get some face–time with an entry level analyst. As these tensions rise, we all live in fear of the active Huntsman Volcano that stands tall and mighty at the corner of 38th and Walnut. Your stress will build upon the stress of others. Before you know it, all of Huntsman will erupt, spewing out tears, torn resumes, and day–old Wawa sandwiches.  

The “Most Busy” Competitor.

Being “busy” is just the thing to do at Penn. And we get it: you're busy. We're all busy. But those who compete to see who can be the busiest—well, we can't even. Let's say you're in line to get coffee. As you're standing there, you overhear a conversation between two girls. One starts, “Omg hey, yeah, I literally have been like a hermit, like, I have three exams next week and I had two interviews for this, like, thing, you know? What about you?”  

The other exclaims, “Yes totally, hey. And like literally same. I don’t even leave my house. Like, this is my first time out in days. I have five midterms before break, and I don’t even know where to start, and my mom is here and is making me do dinner and shopping with her. It’s literally so much.”

Highbrow sympathizes with you, we are busy. SO busy in fact that we don’t even have the time to engage in a competitive conversation with you over which of us is busier. Take that.


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