Sceney jinxer: Jinx, you owe me a gram of coke! That's the Penn version of jinx. 

Ambitious student who's at this place for the right reasons: I'm majoring in becoming a Wharton boy's housewife.

Not–so–media–active fan favorite: I don't have social media, I only have fan pages.

Honest student sitting on the Houston steps as a tour passes: DO NOT COME HERE. THIS PLACE WILL RUIN YOU.

Kid who's watched Pitch Perfect too many times: There's an aca–rager next week.