Resourceful stoner: "I hope I didn't act too suspicious at the UPS store. I put my weed in a "refrigerate upon opening, lab material" box and shipped it to the Radian."  

Stressed–out sophomore: "I brought my laptop to 4k4. You could say I'm a multitaskser."

Elmo BBQ attendees about tourist who found his way into the party: "LET HIM STAY. LET HIM STAY."

Stanford student hitting on a Penn girl: "Yeah, my family is a member of the Royal Thames club; I'll be in London a lot."