September is the season of , so it seems. Turn that frown upside–down with Highbrow’s list of little Penn victories.
- A normal, positive interaction on Locust Walk. None of that “wondering whether they’ll say hi or pretend they never saw you” nonsense. You both spotted each other; you know it, they know it, we all know it.
- Good workout at Pottruck. For the first time in a long time, your sheer willpower came through.
- Revised club applications. There’s a Google form, but it’s only one page. God is real.
- Successfully BS–ing in class. You may not have exactly “read” the reading, but your professor looks impressed or at least appeased by your contribution. Aren’t you an intellectual!
- Grade salvation via curve. A victory for you, an L for someone else. Your GPA lives to see another day.
- Frat party done right. “Mr. Brightside” just came on and no drunk chick has hit you in the head with her elbow (yet).
- Getting the right answer on MyMathLab first try. Whoever decided that "1295π/144+(πln36)/2" would make an appropriate problem set answer is the actual spawn of Satan.
- Peace and (relative) quiet on College Green. There’s a man standing on the curb with a large sign and he’s shouting. Something about free watermelon? He wants you to take a slice and “have a nice day?” Wait, so you’re not going to hell?
- Insomnia Cookies. Your on–again off–again hook up buddy has let you down countless times, but double chocolate mint would never.
- Coffee chats at Stommons. But instead of feigning interest in what appears to be the fourth consulting club you’ve applied to this week, you’re actually drinking coffee and chatting with a friend who meant it when she said “let’s get coffee.” Follow through, my dudes. Follow through.
- Date night with that cutie in your Chem lab. Romance at Penn is as dead as your 8 a.m. math recitation, but one can only assume this feels like a victory.
- The three most beautiful words ever written in a Canvas notification. “Class is cancelled.”
- People who know the difference between Penn and Penn State. One small step for man, one giant leap for everyone who has ever been wronged by the question “Which campus?”
- Admitting you’ve had a bad day. Penn Face is a big fucking deal and we all have problems.
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