Resigned WASP: “I stopped believing when God failed to answer my prayers for good dick.”

Board casting a play (or describing a typical Penn student): "She's really unpleasant and entitled, but that's just part of her personality." 

High-riser: “I smoked before going through the wind tunnel and I swear I could SEE the wind.”

Will probably end up working at Goldman: "I just realized I can’t apply for the FBI internship because I’ve done way too many drugs."

WASP who has out-WASPed herself: "My mom had to drive Katherine Heigl from Manhattan to The Hamptons and back; she's so tired now."



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