Host/ Recruiter: Welcome to your official job interview! You know the rules! As usual, we provide the categories and the answers, and you respond with the questions! Let’s begin!
Our company is a leading global investment banking and investment management firm that focuses on providing financial services to huge corporations, while at the same time giving back to the global community!
Contestant 1: What is Goldman Sachs?
Contestant 2: What is Morgan Stanley?
Host/Recruiter: Correct! Moving on to the ‘About You’ section.
Our firm fosters growth and emphasizes innovation! We provide a safe and comfortable workplace environment in the middle of Manhattan, where everybody can feel at home. We really strive to focus on the individual (mostly those of high net worth, and, like I said earlier, the huge corporations). Most importantly, our employees always make a lot of money.
Contestant 1: ...What is Morgan Stanley…?
Host/Recruiter: Incorrect! Remember - this is the About You section.
Contestant 2: Uhhh...what is...why do you want to work for us?
Host/Recruiter: That is correct! For this next question, we’re going to try something different where I ask you the question.
*panic strikes the contestants’ faces and they desperately look around for help*
Host/Recruiter: What are your greatest strengths and weaknesses? 60 seconds on the clock.
Contestant 1: I’d like to use a lifeline!!!! Phone-a-friend! Phone-a-friend!!
Host/ Recruiter: 30 seconds.
Contestant 1: Okay, mom says my strengths are that I’m hardworking and a team player and that I have no weaknesses! What’s that, mom?
Host/ Recruiter: 5 seconds.
Contestant 1: I’m perfect! She says I’m perfect!
Host/ Recruiter: That is correct. Back to our original format. This last answer is:
Not tomorrow, because I’m not desperate, but certainly as soon as possible, because I’m not not desperate!
Contestant 2: When can you start?
Host/ Recruiter: Ding ding ding! We have a winner! HR will be in touch with you with more details and a follow-up interview.