Contemporary Nostalgist: “Do you have Cardi B on vinyl?”
Prospective Oil Baroness in HubBub: “I just struck a deal with the Saudis.”
Disgruntled Probable Conservative: "My professor used the word 'thought leader' and now I think less of him. Anyone who uses that word definitely votes Democrat, like, all the time."
Future Sexy Librarian: “I, too, get aroused in the stacks.”
Uber Supremacist: "Lyft is my kryptonite."
Kid upon seeing the Pee Statue: "Oh my god, it's Isaac Newton."
Basically Mother Theresa: “I wanna give head but don’t want to increase my dick count.”
... and Her Enabler: “Sucking dick doesn’t count.”