Mother Teresa in the streets, Caligula in the sheets: “My public persona is very virginal.”

Hot and Bothered Horse Girl: "I'll take on a fifth year at Penn to hook up with Amy Gutmann."

Texting Guru: "Make a typo so she knows it’s casual."

Pottruck Goer: "There were all these grown men there with body hair and I was like what, we're millennials, get a wax."

Senior at Smokes: “Alcohol can warm you like no man can...from the inside.”

Considerate Consumerist: "At this point I only shave my legs for the pedicure lady. I want her to have like an okay time while she's rubbing my calves."

RELS Professor: "Heroin is awesome! Don't judge it 'til you try it."


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