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I love weed. I also love Disney movies. But only old-school cartoons; none of this Toy Story bullshit. So one Saturday night, I got blazed and decided to YouTube the best shit Disney has to offer.
First up: Cinderella. OK, Cinderella is, like, the prime rib on Disney’s table. Both of her parents are dead and she reminds me of the chick with daddy issues in my PSYC 001 textbook. Let’s not forget she makes clothes for mice. Mice don’t need clothes, dude — they have fur. And she gives Gus a shirt but no pants. That’s so mean. This made more sense when I was six and (almost) drug-free.
Fantasia is next. This movie will blow your mind if you are baked. The music, the colors, everything’s just so beautiful and the world is awesome and fuuuuuck those squiggly music note things kill me.
The Lion King makes me really upset. Why doesn’t Simba fight back when Scar tells him he killed Mufasa? He just takes it. And leaves. And then Rafiki tells him he’s forgotten his father. THAT’S JUST A LIE. Simba NEVER forgot Mufasa, not for a single day. Even fooling around with that skank Nala couldn’t drive Mufasa from his mind. You can’t break the father-son bond, dude.
Also, just for the record, Jasmine is straight up the hottest Disney princess. She can rub my genie’s lamp any time.
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I think publishing an article in 34th about smoking up and watching disney films is in really bad taste...
It's one thing to put it on a blog and send it to your friends, but isn't this the magazine for the school newspaper? You can be hip and funny without resorting to talk of illicit drugs. It's cheap and lame.
Did this come out in the print version of 34th street?
I never tried weed and Disney before so I'll have to take your word for it. But still, do you have to smoke weed to enjoy Disney? I think they are better than this, you'll find that there are great things in life , things that give you a natural high, not a smoked high.
Ronn, drug rehab center
This may be one of the worst articles I have ever read in my life. Simply terrible. I smoke and it is not because of the talk of smoking. The article is just BAD.
This article is written as if it were liveblogged, but it is clearly not liveblogged, meaning you wrote it while you were sober (case in point: "This movie will blow your mind if you are baked. The music, the colors, everything’s just so beautiful and the world is awesome and fuuuuuck those squiggly music note things kill me." The first sentence is retrospective, while the second throws structure to the wind in order to sound high). It's boring and contrived, designed to be the most cliched way to write a "high" article. You should have written an honest article. Either add your actual ridiculous thoughts as they come to you while you are high, or write an honest retrospective analysis describing how being high ruined your suspension of disbelief (since that's mostly what your article is about) or something. This is just a boring, jumbled criticism of our favorite childhood movies that seeks (and fails to gain) value solely by the mention of marijuana.
This is atrocious.
GUYS. This article was in the JOKE ISSUE. Everyone needs to chill out.
Fantasia is a FOX movie, not Disney :)
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