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This Issue 04/02/2009

• Miss Philadelphia 2009
• The Worst of Penn 2009
• Egos of the Week: Dean and Drew Tye

Professorial Eye Candy:
Keith Niedermeier
Huntsman Hall is a scary, scary place. Just one look at the overstressed Whartonites is enough to make us want to crawl back to Annenberg and bask in the company of the far less intense. It’s rare to come across a Huntsman inhabitant who can provide a friendly, attractive smile in that sea of anxiety. That is, until the Wharton gods smiled down on us and gave us a reason to take interest in business. That reason? One man, five syllables: Keith Niedermeier.

Niedermeier’s eye-catching good looks and undeniable charm (likened to that of the adorable Michael J. Fox) landed him an overwhelming victory. Year after year, the Marketing 101 professor is able to command the attention of a lecture hall full of jaded i-banking wannabes, keeping even the consumer psych minors in regular attendance. You can bet that in this class, it’s not hard to keep your eyes open. So Niedermeier, if you’re reading this, the Street offices are located at 40th and Walnut. Come stop by anytime.

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Place to Study That Only You Know About:
Biddle Law Library
Our love for Penn’s typical undergraduate libraries is conditional. We love you, VP, but your acceptance of non-PennCard holders makes us uncomfortable. We also love you, FFA, but your mouse problems keep us a little on edge. Sometimes we prefer to take the road less traveled. While the Biddle Law Library (on 34th and Sansom) might make the average undergrad feel a little out of place (apparently all law students wear matching Penn Law track jackets…), it’s the hidden gem of Penn libraries. A stone’s-throw from Van Pelt, the Law Library is replete with open study spaces and comfy chairs, perfect for lounging and reading. With ample natural light and high ceilings, even the most pessimistic studier can find some solace at Biddle. Offering a mix of individual study carrels and larger tables, the library meets the needs of just about any “study-type.” But be forewarned: leave your small-talk at Rosengarten as the Law Library is hear-your-phone-vibrate quiet.

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Place to Bum a Cigarette:
In Front of Van Pelt
After sacrificing another Saturday afternoon to the stuffy stacks of Van Pelt, you can’t wait to exchange the recycled library air for some well-deserved fresh oxygen. As you exit triumphantly, you take a deep breath of the great Philadelphia outdoors. While cheerily skipping down the steps your hand glides into your back pocket — only to find a Mark’s Café receipt. You’re thoroughly disappointed: “Shit, I forgot my cigs.” Never fear! Just follow the trail of smoke to the ever-friendly, ever-present smokers’ circle located directly outside of Van Pelt 24/7. Any long day cooped up in the library deserves its cigarette break. So don’t let a little forgetfulness keep you from your sweet reward. Join the circle, make some new friends and bum a well-earned cancer stick.

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Casualty of 2008:
Juicy Campus
If there’s one thing we can thank the recession for, it’s the financial downturn and eventual shutdown of JuicyCampus.com. Though we’ll be forever pining to figure out what in fact “the best frat on campus” is, or who is really “the hottest junior girl,” we’ll have to decide without the aid of ol’ JC. Today the now-defunct URL redirects to collegeacb.com, the weak younger sibling of Juicy Campus run by some undergrad at Wesleyan. In addition, you need a .edu e-mail address to log in to this new site, which totally negates the whole point of being anonymous. Our advice: if you’re going to do something scandalous, do it now... before some new gossip outlet takes over.