Printer-friendly version

Send to a friend

You might also be interested in

• Happy Samhain
• Meet The Thieves Of Van Pelt
• Ego of the Week: Ben Alisuag
• Great Scot!
• Goodbye Kitty

This Issue 04/02/2009

• The Round Up: 4.2.09
• The Best Vending Machines
• The Best Dressed of Penn

Use of American Apparel:
Girl Talk Concert
It’s just not okay to parade yourselves around Philadelphia wearing head-to-toe neon spandex outfits assembled in the American Apparel fitting rooms. We understand that the “social pressures that be” forced you to jump on the bandwagon and head to the Girl Talk extravaganza, even if you had never heard of him (that’s 99.9% of concert-goers by our estimates). However, decking yourself out in such stupid outfits makes you look even more, well, stupid. Stop. Before you get mobbed by hippie communists screaming “down with capitalism.”

Use of Space:
The Radian’s “Now Leasing” Sign

Use of Bursar:
N/A
Bursar is the best invention of all time. For some reason Penn decided to credit its poor (read: cheap) college students $1000 of their parents' money each month to spend at countless Penn approved locales. With a swipe of your Penn card you can buy things; it’s like magic. Is there a bad way to milk your parents for all they’re worth? No. Once you’ve graduated it’s the end of that gravy train. So before your Penn card is voided, why don’t you treat yourself to a free lunch, new iPod or some mom-approved condoms perhaps? Bursar away! And if your dad asks you about those mysterious $6.33 charges, just tell them Penn has started charging for library books.