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• In Bed With Everyone

This Issue 02/05/2009

• Why Feb Club's Fab
• Actors I Thought I Wanted to Marry
• The Big Push
• Tongue Thrashing
• Spice up your Life
• Drink of the Week: Hot Apple Chai
• Close Encounters in Bucks County

TO A WAWA SLUSHIE

You are bounteous in icy composition
Red 5, corn syrup — nothing but the best
I crave you
Cherry? Coke? Cherry Coke?
Doesn’t matter, options endless
Happiness guaranteed
I crave thee, O WaWa Slushee

Always accessible, twentyfourseven
You are my safety net, my comfort zone
Brain freeze my problems away
I crave you WaWa Slushee!

Machine out of order
Forlorn I am
Lonely, empty, slushee-less
No sugar rush for me
Come again soon
WaWa Slushee, I crave you

FROM A WAWA SLUSHIE

Take take take
You give nothing in return
16 ounces, $1.49 — unforgivable
Slurp me you will not
I deserve more. Better.

Vend me out like a cheap whore
Pimp me around, I am your status symbol
The jewel in the crown of your pathetic existence
Slurp me you will not
I deserve more. Better.

Mix and match
I am no mongrel
I have loyalties, a home, a family
A caste system
Slurp me you will not
I deserve more. Better.

Machine out of order
A wrench in the system
Saboteur you have made of me
Freedom, high-day! High-day, freedom! Freedom, high-day, freedom.