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This Issue 10/20/2005

Also in this issue

• Invasion of the parents
• Penn Drinking Game
• Hold me closer, famous director

Round 1 -- The Obvious

1. For every Jew in the room, take a shot.

2. For every kid from the tri-state area, take a shot.

3. Take a shot if you applied Early Decision

4. Ask who enjoys the show Laguna Beach. For every guy that raises his hand, punch him in the face.

Round Ender: For every kid already passed out, take a shot. Then take a marker and draw on their faces.Round 2 -- Sexual Shooters

1. For every kid in the room you've already hooked up with, take a shot.

2. For every STD you've ever had, take a shot.

3. For each kid in the room to whom you have given an STD, apologize and take a shot.

4. For every abortion you've had/paid for, take a shot. (*Alternative approach -- if you kept the baby, take a shot for each glorious year of motherhood)

Round Ender: For every kid who has already vomited, take a shot. Then take them to the hospital.Round 3 -- Get F*cked up

1. Everytime someone says the word "the", take a shot.

2. Everytime you're drunk enough to still think you need another shot, take a shot.

3. If you are seeing double, take two shots (for triple, take three, etc.)

Round Ender: For every kid still standing, take a shot. Now go out into the world and be the annoying kid who shows up to a party totally wasted from pre-gaming and ends up passing out with your head resting on the toilet in the McDonald's restroom.

Job well done.