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This Issue 10/27/2005

Also in this issue

• Thrift or treat
• Guides
• Sangria Savvy
• A Paranormal Presence
• Holy crap -- Uma Thurman is on j-date?!?
• Bling is in bloom
• Word on the street: I'm an Audioslave for you

A) Halloween is a Jewish word meaning, "Yiddish sex and candy party." The celebration dates back to the discoveries of alcohol, the "sugar high," and permissive sexual behavior in 669 BC, when the first man-whore mounted the first she-slut in the Promised Land. Party on Wayne! Party on Abraham!

B) Halloween is the annual celebration of gluttony, pop culture, pedophilia, fornication and cavities. At least that's what the Mad Hatter told me after we made whoopee. He called me Alice and touched my rabbit-hole.