Printer-friendly versionStreet's annual tradition honors the most recognizable seniors on campus. Notice how that doesn't say "nicest." Fame doesn't bring fortune, and neither does this. Underclassmen, if you have one goal for your college career, try to make Cultural Elite. There is nothing more satisfying. Except most other things.
Pooja Adhar: This fashionista has beauty, brains and style - and the attitude to go with it!
Julie Adler : A Tri Delt socialite and student gov't guru, Julie loves Hillary, the Hill, Hillel and her exotic accent makes Franz sound classy.
Chidi Akunyili: Bang bang!
Lindsay Appel: This Tabard prez is no snob - her blackouts are equal opportunity.
David Back: David "I have a hand fetish" Back needs no introduction to all you lovely young ladies.
Kali Backer: This "intimidating" Art Historian has a passion for fashion, Jews and power. She loves everything about Penn except her boyfriend's asinine antics.
Annie Barrett: This proud Midwesterner and ex-squash star is attracted to any organization whose #1 goal is getting drunk. Look for her during her daytime office hours at Blarney's.
Sean Barrett: This St. A's golf god is easy on the eyes, but potentially heavy on the herpes.
Beth Becker: This sexy Delta gets frat boys off nationwide.
Ezra Billinkoff: The King of Jews. And hip glasses. But mostly Jews.
Lea Bornstein: Try walking down Locust with this ubiquitous AXO without having to stop every three seconds to talk to someone. Seriously. Just try.
Ruben Brosbe: This Street ed transferred from UCSB to party but then realized he was high when he made said decision.
Sarah Brown: Penn's most irresistible girl next door. This adorable Delawarean is like Katie Holmes pre-Tom Cruise abduction and alien motherhood.
Mike Carley: This Cowboys die-hard will be rocking the mic at BMOC because no one wants to see him shirtless.
Georgiana Cavendish: Former model and UA member grew up in Europe, so her naiveté passes for sexy.
Jaclyn Cohen: This former enthusiast of the Jewish underground pseudo-Greek circuit has recently cut back to become a full-time cradle-robber.
Christian Colin: Parisian Owl hottie pimps hoes from all over the world.
Ben Cooley: Known to his friends as master of the "penis guitar."
Jake Cooper: This Friar and Off The Beat prez is a homegrown stud. Plus, he's the only non-Italian working for Philly's toughest "waste management company."
Zach Coopersmith: If this Pi Kapp doesn't win BMOC tonight, he'll still have everything else one could desire. Keep drinking!
Santiago Cortes: Do not be mistaken about his last name, nothing about this Latin stallion is short. Or cut. Or courts. Chinga su madre.
Healey Cypher: Man-about-town Beta is everyone's favorite Kuwaiti-Nebraskan asshole.
Steve Danley: There are only so many 6'8", 225lb. fervent Catholics who perform spoken word poetry and pull down eight boards a game.
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I am sick and tired of the members of frat/sorority and ultra-retarded "secret societies" who have their cronies at the Daily Pennsylvanian and 34th Street exaggerate, embellish, and lie to make themselves look ultra-cool. I've seen trailer trash and ghetto women who are more humble, beautiful, and have better personalities than STD-ridden whores like Georgiana Cavendish, Lindsey Appel, and Scarlet Shore. Oh wowie, they're in sororities and shady groups! That means they get to give blowjobs to thousands of fratboys! They also get to be drunk and infected with several diseases!!! They are even allowed to be anorexic, damage their bodies, and harm their chances of having healthy babies! (Not that anyone would want to marry sororistitutes and other women who have been with hundreds of guys!) Wow, can I pay for those privileges? Please stop making lies about how their models, bigshots, and masters of the universe. Real attractive people are much nobler, classier, and humble than the trash that you promote as Cultural Elite.
Conrad Lee Loiter - This ultra sexy plantation owner and father of seven (read: 19) keeps this fine nation's economy movin' and groovin' by puttin' work in like a slave. Either way, we're in love with his mustache. Hey, Conrad, how long'd it take you to teach that colored boy how to read?
Clearly Buddy is unaware of the word "irony". But glad you hate your life so much you need to bitch about people making fun of their friends in the school newspaper. Have fun in the high-rise lounge studying for next semesters finals on saturday night!
Buddy:
You're just pissed off because you're ugly and fat.
well you know what they say: negative publicity is still publicity. by publishing stuff like this in a paper that's widely read across campus, you extend to these individuals a sort of fame that, although it is based in ridicule, elevates them to the level of the "popular crowd." let's not forget that the majority of these people have not only been chronicled in this piece, but have had their names published in many other 34th street articles. the result of this is the creation of that subgroup of students that is supposedly more cool than the rest. i thought we were over that after high school, but i guess not. as adults getting ready to enter the real world, i'd say grow up.
buddy has a point. but so do the others who have insulted him/her. to all of you i say stop wasting time so you dont HAVE to stay in on a saturday night. Happy Thanksgiving
yeah zev hits on anything (man, woman, child, plant). its sleazy.
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