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• The WORST of penn
• Ahead of the Patch

This Issue 01/18/2007

Also in this issue

• Podthigh
• Welcome to the Good Dog
• Under the sea
• Five guys in one room
• Thoughts on the new year
• Music Reviews

The letters of the house you want to be in. May come off as a bit forward. Just FYI.

Nothing at all. We don't care if you're a "free spirit" or "independent."

Any item that physically explains your name. Let's say you're Jeannie. Do not sport the pink midriff-baring tee and turban-esque headband while performing the "I Dream of Jeannie" hand motions. All that will be remembered is, girl's a freak.

Face tattoo. So last year.

A gun holster of Purell - and then squeezing some on right after you meet a sister.as she watches.

Top Five Things NOT to DO at

Sorority Rush

Explain that you're rushing because it's cheaper and faster than lesbian speed dating.

Answer a phone call from the sister's ex boyfriend in front of her. Proceed to giggle and coo and ask him what he is wearing and where his hands are.

Eat anything from Greek Lady beforehand.

Showing a sister that you can put both legs over your head and shove your fist in your mouth at the same time.

Telling a sister you want to go Greek for the free booze and the t-shirts.