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This Issue 02/15/2007

Also in this issue

• Reno 911 Extended Interview
• Street Sweeper
• Water Woes
• Slim-down countdown

Flounder & Sebastian's
Forbidden love
Prom 2007: Under The Sea
Pure Nightclub
1221 Saint James St.
Sat, 9 p.m., $8-10, 21+
(215) 735-5772
www.phillygaycalendar.com

You remember prom. Sequins seemed like a good idea at the time. So did saying "yes" when Lars, the hairy/pimply/androgynous foreign exchange student, asked to be your date. The music was bad. So was the chicken. Well, here's your chance to relive that seminal teenage occasion in a way the confines of high school never would have allowed for. Philly Gay Calendar presents a raucous prom for the LGBT set. The event will take place at Gayborhood nightclub Pure, where "Under the Sea" will be the theme and a DJ will be on hand to spin all the songs you used to slow dance to, from the cringe-worthy "Endless Love" to the still-sort-of-good "Truly Madly Deeply." So pull out that taffetta dress or cummerbund - admission is cheaper if you're dressed to the (199-)nines.
-Heather Schwedel

Rachael Ray Goes Risque
Sweet Kellianne's Whip It! A One Woman Cookin' Show
Red Room, Society Hill Playhouse
507 S. Eighth St.
Fri-Sat, 8 p.m.; Sun, 1:30 p.m.; $20
(215) 923-0210
www.redroomphilly.com

I can't cook. It's not like I don't want to cook or that I'm too lazy. It's just that I'm physically incapable. I think it stems from the fact that I'm afraid of fire and an oven is by its very nature hot, and you can't really get around that. So, I think I'm going to have to resign myself to a future of cold cereal and take out. Should be good. Conversely, Sweet Kellianne can cook. She can cook LOTS. She'll even show you how to do it at the one-woman show in which she serves as both star and writer. A Philadelphia native and the child of two dancers who met on American Bandstand (that's gotta make a person messed up), Kellianne concocts mouthwatering deserts as she gabs about Philadelphia and South Jersey in a way that will surely make locals wax nostalgic. Between her desert recipes, autobiographical stories and film projections, Kellianne's show (an L.A. transplant) is set to whip audiences into shape, whip 'em good.
- Gillian Levinson

OINK OINK
Chinese New Year and Spring Festival Parade
Chinatown
Btw 8th & 12th Sts. and Arch & Vine Sts.
Sun, 12:00 p.m., free
www.phillychinatown.com

For the next three Sundays, Chinatown is hosting its very own Spring Festival. The event begins at midnight in Chinatown with a huge parade, including dragons, lion dances and firecrackers. Overload on the MSG, feel the daze and merriment wash over you, try to score some opiate-filled dumplings and toast to a happy and prosperous New Year. Be sure to reserve a table at a restaurant ahead of time; otherwise come a bit early to find a good spot -because the streets will be overflowing. 2007 is the year of the Pig, and the Tsing Taos will be clanking. If you miss this Sunday's parade, don't worry - there's still two more to catch in the coming weeks. - Rachel Shah

like a big pizza pie