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This Issue 11/01/2007

Also in this issue

• 99 Problems, but this film ain't one
• Mr. Squirrel's Dream Interpretations
• Ego of the week
• Give me 5
• Word on the street

Nicolas Sarkozy:

Realizes he's not quick, slick, nor is his neck as incredibly thick as Gaston's.

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad:

Senator Larry Craig in the Tehran Airport bathroom.

Mitt Romney:

Loses Republican nomination to Rudy Giuliani in a much publicized, highly contested tickle fight.

Al Gore:

Discovers that the new Toyota Hybrid runs on spotted owls.

Kim Jong-il:

Doesn't meet height requirement for Splash Mountain.

Gordon Brown:

Is not a crayon!

Rick Santorum:

Spice Girls reunion tour cancelled!!!!

Nicolas Sarkozy:

Realizes he's not quick, slick, nor is his neck as incredibly thick as Gaston's.