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This Issue 04/04/2002

Also in this issue

• Gimme some deep dickens
• Film: Shillin' like a villain

Let me first say, the actor who plays Pip is a righteous babe. Even the tailcoat and top hat work for him. I'm sitting in my press seat next to some goon from a Mainline weekly who smells like a woman and keeps going "psst, psssst," in my ear and poking me. He wants to know if I'm confused. "No," I gently respond, though my patience is taut as a condom on Kevin Bacon's stiffy. "No, I'm not confused. I've read the book many a time." And haven't we all? Dickens is one of those ubiquitous writers, whose name is kind of funny when you're a sophomore in high school and even funnier when you're a sophomore in college. He's unbelievably verbose and a little bit tedious. But I'm in love with Pip, um, with the actor Pascal Langdale, (though with a name like that I have to wonder if he swings my way), and therefore I don't even notice how long the show is. In fact, even though this time around I sense how sorely contrived the plot is, I enjoy every minute of it, am totally taken in by the dramatic sets and gorgeous costumes.

I bet people don't remember Mr. Wemmick from the book, but (other than Pip) Mr. Wemmick is the most memorable character in this performance. He is humorously interpreted by actor Michael Kirk, who carries himself like someone is constantly tickling the back of his neck. There's always a smile lurking. The more I think about it, the more important this character is to us in this day and age, more so than Pip or the frigid Estella. Mr. Wemmick is amused by life. He leaves work at work and revels in the (bizarre) comforts of his home and family. I'm sorry, I have to remind you all exactly what those comforts are for Wemmick. The aged man known only as P -- the best comic relief in the entire play -- is Wemmick's old father who can hear only the explosions of cannons. His house has a moat around it and, of course, a drawbridge. Pumpkins are involved. And best of all, this strange life is communicated to the audience by means of a puppet show, right there on stage. Yeah, I laughed, it was too weird.

If you've forgotten the rest of the twisted plot, here's a refresher: young Pip saves a convict, then falls in love with beautiful Estella who's been trained by crazy Ms. Havisham to break hearts. When Pip grows up, someone gives him money, and he thinks it's Ms. Havisham, but it's not. And he still loves Estella. Then he moves to London. And he's hot.

But even if Pip isn't your type, I still urge you to see the play. Pip's family is portrayed with kind simplicity by actors Gaynor Barrett and Alun Raglan. Ms. Havisham will scare the shit out of you, especially if you've ever been dumped. And the children who play young Pip and Estella are poised beyond their years making one feel like an enormous oaf; which one actually is.