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This Issue 02/12/2004

Also in this issue

• Valentine's Day shout-outs
• Lamp desk spotlight On: Eric T. Miller
• Guides

CAVEAT: The views expressed in the following belong only to the individuals submitting the ads and do not necessarily reflect the views of 34th Street Magazine and its editors.

To the guy who sits behind me in Oceanography: I'm Asian and you have a girlfriend. Let's fuck.

To everyone who is having sex in my house right now: Valentine's Day is supposed to be romantic. Something about banging things into walls just doesn't seem to fit into this category. Can't you light some candles or something? At least they're quiet...

Dear girl sitting next to me at yoga on Monday, you're pretty... pretty flexible. I am not, but I'll show you my vinyasa if you show me yours. (See page 10.)

To Hermann W. Pfefferkorn: you are my lucky star. Teach me about rocks, I'll teach you about passion.

To the guy freshman year who I hooked up with: You came on my shirt. It was my roommate's you asshole.

To my Lesbian Life Partner (LLP): Here's to pasties and touching your boobs, Mrs. Fields cookies and last Thursday when we realized we were LPs to LLPs...

To a nostalgic #13: Tired of practice? Let's scrimmage for real this time, and I promise you'll win a gold in our Special Friend Olympics.

To baseball stud, Minnesotan hottie is tired of playing the field -- bring her home.

Vocals: Stayed at home but no one called. I began to think my number wasn't listed at all. Suddenly all the pieces will fall right into place. Brunch?

I love you Wangc2!

To the redheaded Canadian, I hear that you're a good fuck. I want to take you home and play Texas Hold'm Strip Poker.

To Amy Gutmann, I've got a position you can fill, you academic MILF, you!! Giggity giggity!

To the girl who always asks me for a kiss on Locust Walk: besides my mouth, I also have a...

Hello hot guy in my 7:30 a.m. spinning class: You are hot and I want to do you... on a stationary bike. And don't fret, you'll get road head... um, stationary head.

Michael C: I love you, let's make Italian babies together.

Roars to that blue-eyed diddy on the 4th floor -- saw you reading your cookbook the other day. Let me know, and we'll get cooking.

Dear freshman girl who has the pictures of two girls making out in Pike basement. We'd like those back.

It's so mature to call someone slutty and then out of spite hook up with her friend -- well done asshole, keep the insults coming. You're surprised you're single???

To my MKTG 101 Prof. Barbara Kahn -- Even though I'm straight and you're like 50, I'd still do you; you're hot!

Yo, kid that teaches tennis like a pro, how can I sign up for a private lesson?