Printer-friendly version

Send to a friend

This Issue 11/11/2004

Also in this issue

• We're on Merge Records
• Let's start a revolution
• Watch this or Die

Alastair Balfour: This Owls dancing machine doesn't just live on top of the Bubble House; he's the host of Monte Carlo's infamous Eurotrash bash.

Tim Begley: With more dribbles than a teething toddler, he's sure to up the Madness in March.

Ryan Bell: This DKE rugby-playing boozehound makes Karl Rove look like a cute puppy. Hear him chanting "four more years" and feel free to throw feces.

Emily Berman: Not only the queen of Penn's upcoming Dance Marathon, but she also makes Ted Kennedy look like Pat Buchanan.

Dan Blanchard: Penn's everyman, this Owl knows everything about you. And if you don't know him, you either live under a rock or in the high rises.

Bradley Breuer: GWM with GSOH and sexy bod. Civic House, Allies, Delta Lambda Phi, Sphinx, WPTP. Likes pretty boys and only eats at Stephen Starr. Will make you wish you were (a) cool and (b) male. Can we please fuck?

Pat Brugh: Varsity swimmer, water polo player, Omega, Phi Psi and Vice President of Rush for IFC. Still, 355 friends on Facebook makes you a loser.

Lauren Boyer: After a minor disaster with a moving vehicle, Penn's resident Marissa Cooper is back, this time even more waifish and breathy than before.

John Carroll: Firing the tough questions for Street's Interview, Carroll brings the funny. He's also nice enough to make Santa Claus look like an asshole.

Dianna Cohen: This SDT former prez can be seen with her black pants posse at classy joints all over campus. Just because she's in SDT doesn't mean that she'll end her night in the hospital.

David Copley: The state chairman of the Pennsylvania Federation of College Republicans, it'll probably only feed his ego to say he's Satan-spawn, but hey, the truth's the truth.

Spencer Crawford: The mastermind behind Mask and Wig is king of social connections. He's witty and from South Dakota, which boggles the mind. Uber-conservative, so be wary: he just might hate you.

Drew Crockett: This Squash playing Sigma-Chi Friar isn't only the Biggest MOC; he's also a really, really nice guy.

Katy Cross: The next Mia Hamm is so old school they named the switch-field pass after her.

Brooke Daley: Beautiful? Check. Detached and aloof? Check. Tabard? Check. Impressive, um, driver's side airbags? Double check.

Ashish Doshi: The Sphinx Chief, Penn Masala Chair and Whartonite is the smartest, sexiest Indian-American since ... well, yeah. He's not single, but stalking never hurt anyone.

Paul Farber: The founder and co-president of PATH, he's only elite because he's a former Street editor, and we take care of our own.

Eric Feigenbaum: Pennchants badboy might be the best singer of '70s and '80s a cappella since the '70s and '80s.