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This Issue 09/28/2006

Also in this issue

• Opposite Day
• Sorority Life
• Mad Tea Party
• Give Me 5
• Lunch Room Trades
• DATING BY DISTRICT: A GUY'S GUIDE
• A two-hour vigil with student radio

This project is rated LAME to do.

What You Need:

* Two different colors of yarn

* Small crack rock

* Wiggle eyes

* Giggle eyes

* Felt, optional

* Ruler

* Skizzors

* Edible glue

* A unique artistic vision

How To Make It:

1. Cut 24 (12 inch or 30 cm) long pieces of yarn (yarn color the first).

2. Lie the yarn on a flat surface, like your prepubescent chest, so that it looks like the spokes of a wheel (not your chest), and so that the yarn intersects with each other in the center of the wheel.

3. Put a small ball of cotton, a little bigger than the size of 4oz. crack rock, in the center of the wheel.

4. Gather up the pieces of yarn around the crack rock and tie them with a YARN!

5. Separate the yarn into groups of three and braid them. Sing a merry song as you go along. Tie each braid at the end with a piece of yarn color numero dos. You should then end up with huit (8) braids.

6. Glue two wiggle eyes onto the yarn surrounding the ball of cotton.

7. Glue two giggle eyes onto your nads.

8. Use either yarn or felt to make a mouth for your octopus and glue it on.

9. Give your crappy crap to your undeserving parental units!

10. Pretend you're a dog because that is what your parents really wanted. Too bad the condom broke.

Courtesy Dorothy LaFara,

auntannie.com