Your Parents' Passive Aggressive Thanksgiving Platitudes, Decoded
"How are you feeling about finals?"
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"How are you feeling about finals?"
Before we review the food, let it be noted that Mike Solomonov is our ultimate food crush. So naturally, we had already been liking and tagging each other in all photographic versions of the entrees offered at Goldie, Solomonov’s new vegan falafel restaurant in Center City, since it opened in April. We were not, therefore, surprised by the menu – which, like his other acclaimed restaurant, Dizengoff, focuses on perfecting just one dish: in this case, falafel with tahini. Both of us spent gap years in Israel, which may or may not have consisted of internal checklists of restaurants to try, so we weren’t exactly strangers to Israeli cuisine – some might even call us experts. Did we frequent every falafel shop in Jerusalem AND Tel Aviv and gain at least ten pounds in the process? Yes we did. But hey, we’re not bragging.
Don’t fear—you are not the only person on this campus who is sick and tired of pumpkin–flavored coffee drinks. Below are some pretty quick fixes that are far from basic, and add the additional alcoholic kick that Wawa's pumpkin coffee is sorely lacking (and you might need as midterms approach).
Whether you’re the biggest partier on our ten–thousand–person campus or Penn’s most reclusive introvert, we can all agree that the start of the school year is the time to get it on. And then, class starts. Somehow, Netflix–and–chilling with that cutie you met during the hazy first week suddenly doesn’t seem as appealing as textbook–and–crying with VP. You're eager to spice things up, and we've got the goods (read: food) to get your sex drive back in gear. You may have heard of some popular fixes like oysters and red wine, but keep reading below for some lesser–known aphrodisiacs.
Summer’s over, and gone are the days of internship—levels of DGAF, pool parties, the shitty-but-also-kinda-nostalgia-evoking waitressing job, and of course, your summer fling. Letting go of summer doesn't always suck: replacing beach days with study days, work friends with school friends, and late nights for more late nights (but early mornings) are all routine seasonal changes. But deleting your summer fling from memory may be a little harder. They keep running around in your brain and making it hard to enjoy your new singleness every *single* night of your first week back.
Are you stuck in Philly studying for second session summer classes over July 4, and feeling nostalgic for your family barbecue? Unsure what to do to celebrate our country’s founding (read: hoping to find some good hot dogs and cheap beer)?
I must admit that it was with a certain amount of trepidation that I approached the summer. True, I had landed an internship abroad in the same country as my boyfriend, my living arrangements were simple, my travel plans booked. True, I had in a flurry of manic excitement bought out Esse's new summer nail polish line from CVS and had spent the last week of school decorating each toe individually and painstakingly in Van Pelt, using my computer as my footrest as my hand quivered above each toe, while others scribbled furiously on either side of my beauty product laden desk. (Finals? What finals? What are you doing?) True, my mother had, after I had spent multiple complete days post–end of school watching Netflix in bed with snack wrappers slowly accumulating, throne-like, around my pillows, suggested that perhaps I begin packing for my international flight that leaves, um, no pressure honey but, *tomorrow.*
Early this week, after what reportedly was a dramatic showdown on Locust Walk, Penn student Suzy McCray (C‘19) sued Ashley Wilder (C’19) for failing to follow through with lunch plans made earlier in the semester.
Goal: Stay up for 24 hours in the basement of VP.
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