Overheards: 11.15.17
Traditionalist: “I’m saving anal for marriage.”
Below are your search results. You can also try a Basic Search.
Traditionalist: “I’m saving anal for marriage.”
Septuagenarian: “If a guy ever says ‘you’re so hot’, tell him that’s stale language.”
Most Likely to Shatter the Glass Ceiling: Makayla Reynolds
Realist: It’s sad because nobody is gonna tell him his beats suck just cause he’s in Theos.
Sexual assault is an epidemic on Penn’s campus. It’s a massive, frightening problem everywhere. Of course, this sounds like frustratingly common knowledge. For some, though, it’s easy to ignore the sexual violence that happens at Penn. It can be easy to ignore the numbers and statistics. It’s hard to ignore first–person testimonies.
You nominated, we heard you. It's time to vote on the Class of 2018's Senior Superlatives.
Drunk Owls guy: “Let me know when you’re done with these nice New York Jews and you’re ready for a sketchy international Jew.”
At long last—the chance to celebrate and also simultaneously roast the senior class. We kid, we kid, but also, not really. Nominate your favorite seniors for the chance to be featured in 34th Street Senior Superlatives. Fill em all in, only answer one, you choose.
Resigned WASP: “I stopped believing when God failed to answer my prayers for good dick.”
Realist: "It's all about love, sex, and death. Hugh Hefner had two. Well, three now."
30 year–old–woman: "A little molly never hurt anybody."
Bisexual Day of Visibility has been celebrating bisexual representation since 1999 and is officially on September 23rd. Street reached out to members of Penn's bisexual community to see what bi visibility and bi pride meant to them. Here are some of their personal and powerful experiences.
Archetypal Penn dude: "We're dating. With an asterisk."
Know a bachelorette who's truly the cream of the crop? Nominate them here!
Street is looking for unique, driven, quirky, and just all–around awesome seniors to be Ego of the Week. Sound like someone you know? Nominate them here!
We get it: you were too busy daydreaming on your Penn tour to remember that the Quad was built in 1492 or the names of William Henry Harrison’s frat. Street's got you covered. We’ve created our own map of Penn landmarks every incoming student should know. These are the places and spaces that your campus tour guide didn’t show you, that your college guidance counselor didn’t advertise to you, and that not even College Confidential (*gasp*) could have turned you onto. Welcome to fucking Penn.
Medium dabbling in networking: Dude, I cold called Steve Jobs.
• Don't take Econ just because everyone else is. • College is a Petri dish of illness–if you drink straight from the handle of Bankers, you will get mono. • Don’t wear your ID badge around campus. • Don’t take preceptorials too seriously. • Your new white sneakers are going to get trashed and you’ll have to accept that now. • Don’t skip out on hall events for NSO parties. • Don't stress out if you don't love your first going out group during NSO—That's what darties and BYOs are for! • Always take the plunge. Join all the clubs you find interesting right off the bat because it's the best way to meet friends. It's always easier to quit if you end up not liking it than it is to join late in the game. • Listen when your RA explains how not to be locked out of your room. • To get the most out of college you need to make friends but you may also need to lose friends—mistreatment is too high a cost for inclusion. • Don't be afraid to drop classes or change majors—everyone does it. • Take all your AP credits because there's no such thing as an easy general requirement. • Downtowns are lame and people will step on your feet. 10/10 avoid. • Don't take yourself too seriously. • Don't drop Music Theory for Math 104. • Actually befriend your RA...they could be your best friend or worst enemy when the unexpected happens. • Be the nicest person ever to your roommate and hope they return the effort. • Educate yourself on mental health strategies so you can stay healthy and support others. • Get involved. Don't waste your time at Penn. There's cool stuff to do here, so do it. •
With graduation right around the corner, every senior you know is probably grappling with the existential terror of having to leave Penn and head into the Real WorldTM. But whether you’re a senior or not, there’s so much at Penn to experience, perhaps so much that it’s hard to know exactly where to start. Never fear, Street did the work for you. You submitted nominations; we marveled at your creativity (and were kinda grossed out, tbh. But we say that with love.) Read on—and get to work on—the definitive Penn bucket list.
Hello!
Get 34th Street's newsletter, The Toast, delivered to your inbox every Friday morning.
Newsletters