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(12/01/16 9:33am)
Everyone says to be happy with the skin you're born in… or the skin you split your soul in to become immortal. But not everyone has that luxury. It took me a while to be comfortable with who I am. It wasn’t until Dr. Goldfarb entered my life that I found my true outer and inner beauty. Here’s my story. I hope you’ll listen.
(12/01/16 8:42am)
In the midst of College Hall’s dozens of tall tales and mysteries, the Room of Requirement sits quietly on the 7th Floor. Most Penn students don't know about this space—the room only appears when its user is really in desperate need of something. While those who know about the room only use it for exams, social issues and other quandaries, Street thinks that we should be able to have a little bit of fun with this useful room—and there’s no way to make things better than with drugs. Check out these top drug experiences to have in the Room of Requirement.
(12/01/16 9:20am)
Cockroaches are the new quinoa. Looking for a superfood that'll revamp your body and help keep your room clean? You're in luck—cockroach clusters are the hottest superfood trending on campus right now.
(12/01/16 8:27am)
Whether you were injured in a freak accident during Dueling Club, got slammed in the face with a Bludger or absorbed an insane amount of dark magic as an infant as the result of a failed Killing Curse, life with an unsightly forehead scar is never easy. If you’ve already been to St. Mungo’s to get that checked out for a potential case of Horcrux, proceed as follows.
(12/01/16 9:36am)
Wannabe–headless Nick: You would think, wouldn’t you, that getting hit 45 times in the neck with a blunt axe would qualify you to join the Headless Hunt? Half an inch of skin and sinew holding my neck on… Most people would think that’s good and beheaded.
(12/01/16 9:33am)
The following article was found in the late Professor Quirrel’s desk. It is believed that he planned to submit it to the May 1999 issue of the notable wizarding periodical, DADAD (Defense Against the Dark Arts Digest).
(12/01/16 9:43am)
Junior Sam Lestrange had a rude awakening during On–Campus Recruiting this semester. He noticed some “distinctive” components of the interviews that he had not prepared for.
(12/01/16 8:17am)
Clarissa Hufflebum (C '18) was finishing up her fall semester abroad at King's College London when she came to an earth–shattering realization: "Guys, wizards are real."
(12/01/16 9:00am)
So, you went on a trip abroad after graduation to celebrate seven grueling years at one of the most poorly regulated schools in wizarding history. You may have gone to the ruins of Atlantis or visited a remote monastery in Tibet. Maybe you hiked in an isolated forest in Albania. Nonetheless, you came back as the host to a dark wizard’s wandering soul, with a second face on the back of your head.
(12/01/16 8:51am)
Street: Why did you decide to study at Penn?
(11/17/16 8:34am)
It’s been a long week. We elected a tangerine for President, the bees are still dying at an alarming rate and apparently the real story of Thanksgiving is actually kind of sad because the Pilgrims and Native Americans never actually had a turkey dinner together, what the fuck. Don’t worry, though. We’ve got a piping hot serving of gossip to tide you over until your own needless turkey murder day Thanksgiving.
(11/17/16 7:54am)
Most Likely to Fix American Politics: Max Levy
(11/12/16 6:27pm)
The need for hot goss may have been Trumped by our reflections issue last week, but Highbrow's back with the Roundup to share some Hillaryous stories that you just couldn't miss out on.
(11/07/16 6:33am)
Need help? Check out our Spring 2016 Shoutouts here, and our Fall 2015 Shoutouts here.
(11/17/16 6:51am)
When Steve Aoki cancelled his appearance at an off–campus fraternity downtown two weeks ago, the frat scrambled to find a replacement. Straight off their Fall show, the Looney Tunes, Penn’s premiere a cappella group known for being not Off the Beat, volunteered to fill the vacant spot. The party–goers were unaware of the change, however, and many were met with confusion as the undergraduate singing group took the stage.
(11/17/16 6:49am)
I’ve heard a lot of people say that they found their sisters after rushing a sorority at Penn. They’ll say that first semester was a little tough—they were away from family and they felt isolated, like no one understood them. Then they joined a sorority and their worlds turned upside down. They realized they haven’t just made ordinary bonds with these girls, but instead they’ve joined a sisterhood.
(11/17/16 6:45am)
Step 1: Set your alarm, “You’re So Vain.”
(11/17/16 6:48am)
Students often lament their susceptibility to procrastination when it comes to completing assignments for class, though this apparently is not a worry of theirs when preparing for Spring Fling. Although the week of bacchic celebrations typically takes place at the end of April, students are starting the festivities now.
(11/17/16 7:11am)
Everyone remembers the heartache of their first college dorm. It was minuscule, with nearly all space monopolized by the prescribed bed, nightstand and desk combination. It had walls painted a nightmarish shade of brownish green or maybe aquamarine with miscellaneous holes and scratches speckled across them. The single window was only a slit hardly yielding any light and its screen was left leaning against a wall, uninstalled. Without any air conditioning, the air of the late Philadelphia summer was stagnant and heavy in that tiny room, crammed full of your family. You remember wondering then if it were too soon to transfer…
(11/04/16 5:49am)
Thank you for voting for this year's senior superlative nominations! Be sure to grab our issue on November 17 to see the winners!