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(09/29/16 7:43am)
On Tuesday evening, in
conjunction with the Annenberg School of Public
Policy and the U.S. Secretary
of State, the Penn Wharton
Public Policy Initiative hosted
a symposium to choose Anna
Goldman’s (W '18) new
profile picture. Speaking on
the panel was acclaimed personal brand consultant Becky
“Becky” Johnson, U.N. Secretary General Ban Ki–moon,
Ms. Goldman’s best friend Lea
and The One Guy Who Never
Likes Ana’s Profile Pictures (C
'17).
(09/29/16 7:57am)
Out
(09/29/16 5:44am)
Bust in and cut the whole line because you’re the only person there who has class in five minutes.
(09/29/16 6:39am)
Students at the University
of Pennsylvania have been
a–buzzing about the sudden
drop in climate. Though NSO
commenced with a high of 90
degrees, and the first week of
classes brought a heat wave or
two, recent temperatures have
been getting cozy around the
high sixties and low seventies.
Though the easily–sweaty
are thrilled with this thermal
reduction, there is one group
on campus that is severely
concerned with global cooling
and the recent drop: Penn
fraternities.
(09/22/16 7:57am)
Ah, the fall. The leaves are falling, the days are getting shorter and all your friends are wearing suits and concerned about their “futures.” If you also want to descend into a spiral of self–doubt, anxiety and stress, then OCRing might be for you! Take this quiz to find out!
(09/22/16 8:19am)
Pro: Getting to say things like “I live in the nipple.”
(09/22/16 8:44am)
For some Penn students, junior year means
one thing: the institutionalized torture that is
on–campus recruiting. For other Penn students,
it just doesn't. So Street decided to send three
people—Drunk, High and Sober—to check it
out. Here are our observations.
(09/22/16 8:52am)
What you really mean: Learned to stop hissing
when people approached you asking where
the bathroom was, who you were and why the
company had hired a cat to intern.
(09/22/16 8:57am)
MODULE 1: STUDENT HEALTH SERVICES
(09/22/16 7:48am)
Just yesterday, Student Health
Services released new data
revealing the spike in visits during On Campus Recruitment,
Penn’s premiere occupational
frenzy for the cold–blooded
vampires of West Philadelphia.
It’s no surprise that the intense level of stress leads to an
epidemic of flu–like disgustingness, yet researchers have
managed to find something that
does shock Knowitalls (Latin
term for Penn students). In a
recent study funded by literally
every school at Penn except
Wharton, OCR has been found
to cause birth defects even years
after leaving the University of
Pennsylvania.
(09/22/16 8:06am)
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(09/15/16 9:39am)
Elitist Settler: And so all of my Aunts are from
Idaho and that’s just, like,
not one of the 13 colonies,
you know?
(09/15/16 8:46am)
Penn might have recently been named one of the top schools in America for academics again, but we all know we’ve fallen from our most notable ranking as Playboy’s number one party school in 2014––and it’s probably because of weekends like this. While there was a lack of putting the “extra” in “extracurriculars” this time around, Highbrow’s never one to leave you high and dry.
(09/15/16 8:53am)
The music is bumping, the Banker's is flowing and you’re
feeling yourself. Although you’re clawing at a blackout, you’re
still “functioning” enough to get in that final DFMO. Un-
like DFMOs of the past where you were chatting up your
intended hookup all night, this is a one–grind–and–go type
deal. It’s like the part of gymnastics where they say, “Just the dismount left,” and all you have to do is stick the landing. So you Simone Biles that shit and stick it. But then the party ends and you realize you’re just a Penn kid that made a drunk mistake; one that you’ll have to live with forever.
Highbrow’s here with how to cope.
(09/08/16 8:01am)
A "Brooke": We can't have
too many 'Brookes' in this
sorority. We can't have too
many girls named Brooke
because it would take away
the uniqueness of THE
Brooke.
(09/08/16 8:32am)
OCRing Student: Are you conducting the coffee chats from Bain? I was told to look for a hissing red creature with a pitchfork.
(09/08/16 8:37am)
Pokémon Blow: Open a map on your phone and see where all that white magic is hiding. Fuck, there’s a line outside Castle again.
(09/08/16 7:35am)
This is an easy way to stay relevant by terrorizing freshman girls long after you graduate. You already signed up for econ so there can’t be much soul left in you, right?
(09/08/16 8:14am)
EAT BREAKFAST. Then pregame whatever pregame your
resume–boosting club or Greek community is hosting with
WATER. It might not have the same hype factor as a Red
Bull vodka, but it will probably also not result in wanting to
dismember anyone who speaks above a whisper in a few hours.
(09/01/16 2:04pm)
Street loves freshmen! So much that we captioned
the profile pics of our favorite members
of the Penn 2020 Facebook group.