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(01/29/14 5:32am)
1. The Busy Bee Inn: The episode starts with the girls hurrying to the Busy Bee Inn, searching for Ali. A beats them there and is nowhere to be found, which is probably for the best considering the girls come “armed” with hand weights. Hanna claims, “it’s like déjà vu all over again.” (Hanna, the term déjà vu means it feels like something is happening all over again…)
(01/29/14 5:24am)
The Plot:
(01/29/14 4:40am)
1. Pause vs. Unpause… Finally Lily and Marshall have the fight we’ve all been waiting for. (Where is baby Marvin? Apparently with a babysitter. She stays overnight with the baby? In a separate hotel room?) Since Marshall got back, their fight has been paused, but as the title suggests, in this episode they go at it (in the sexual way too but I’ll get to that later). Shit gets real when Marshall brings up Lily’s escape to San Fran (let’s be real, even the viewers are still pissed about that), and then she mysteriously leaves the hotel.
2. The greatest Marshall and Lily sex scene… However, while the fight is still paused, they have sex. Since Marshall knows the fight will be unpaused once they finish, this is basically the Olympics of Marshall and Lily sex. To make it last he thinks of road kill, bugs, nail clipping, and there’s a great picture of a bug with boobs. It doesn’t last long (on the screen), but I think it’s the most entertaining Marshmallow–Lilypad sex scene in the show (and there have been many).
3. Barney tells all… Barney gets so drunk the night before the wedding that he cannot stop telling the truth. Ted and Robin finally get to ask him all the questions they (and we) have been dying to know the answers too since this all started in ’05. What really happened between Barney and Mrs. Mosby? What’s the deal with the ring bearer? This was just classic HIMYM goodness, which has been lacking lately.
4. What “please” really means… Every time someone asks what Barney does for a living (whatever it is I hope they do at OCR because he makes bank), he simply responds with “please.” Turns out this actually is his job title: “Provide Legal Exculpation and Sign Everything.” But it’s not as idiotic as it seems because he’s gonna get back at the asshole who stole his old blonde girlfriend who took his virginity and then left him at a hippie coffee shop. I wonder if they are still together.
5. The baby is coming… The episode begins and ends with a flash–forward to 2017. Ted and The Mother are at the Farhampton Inn, awaiting the arrival of their second child, Luke. (We also learn that the daughter’s name is Penny; finally these guys no longer have to be “Daughter” and “Son” on IMDB!) The Mother killed the pregnant look (she’s so cute). Watching Ted and The Mother rocking married life is the show’s version of the light at the end of the tunnel. Basically the writers are saying “we are still dragging this out and this season might be painful, long or painfully long but we promise you this is going somewhere!”
(01/23/14 2:32pm)
It’s June of 2005, and Seal Team 10 is stationed in Afghanistan. Four Navy Seals are tasked with the mission to capture and kill notorious Taliban leader Ahmad Shah in a mission called Operation Red Wings. The mission failed miserably. “Lone Survivor” tells its story.
(12/05/13 10:00am)
This article was originally published as part of the joke issue on 12.5.2013
(12/05/13 2:45am)
Finally, we have an episode in which the characters actually do something wedding–related rather than just casually mentioning it. Don’t get too excited; there is not an actual rehearsal or anything related to the wedding that is in less than 24 hours! As someone who loves weddings, the severe lack of wedding planning in this wedding–themed season disappoints me. If all the writers were single men, that would make so much sense. I guess we are supposed to chalk it up to the fact that Barney and Robin are not the typical love–y, marriage–y, Marshall–and–Lily–type couple. But we know they’re a wealthy couple, so where the hell is their wedding planner? Speaking of wealthy, Robin’s dress from the episode is L’Wren Scott and retails for $2,990. Too bad it was ugly and not something Robin Charles Scherbatsky Jr. would ever buy or wear.
(12/02/13 9:00pm)
All the rhyming in the episode gave me a hurt in my head.
“Bedtime Stories” was so boring, that I wanted to go to bed.
Marshall and baby Marvin are on a bus to the Farhampton Inn.
Where did they put the rental car? When did they turn it in?
Apparently, baby Marvin only falls asleep to rhymes.
What happened to the lullaby they sang all those times?
To the rehearsal dinner, Marshall is gonna be quite late.
Barney has a globe that shows whether Ted’s on a date.
All the Yankees have names that rhyme with Italian food.
When the commercials didn’t rhyme it put me in a weird mood.
Why is black miso cod on this Italian restaurant’s menu?
Professor Lisa and Ted are definitely not going to screw.
If this chick is supposed to teach physics, shouldn’t she be smart?
She thought Barney was Jeter and let him win her heart.
Robin ate an entire wedding cake because she was feeling sad.
I wanted a piece of that cake so badly; it made me mad.
Whoever made the fake book covers can do great things with paint.
This episode wasn’t funny; it was just kinda quaint.
They got the NYC five borough stereotypes all wrong.
This episode might have been better if it were entirely in song.
These fireworks are Marvin’s first memory. Aww, isn’t that cute!
It took all the strength I had to keep from clicking mute.
This week, another "HIMYM" episode failed my test.
Rhymer.com is really, truly the best.
(11/22/13 6:00pm)
“The Best Man Holiday” tries hard to make its audience laugh and cry, but fails at accomplishing either. There are some funny lines every so often, but these jokes are ones you might overhear in a middle school boys’ locker room rather than in an comedy film.
(11/22/13 5:00pm)
No trailer needed, Vince Vaughn’s name alone is enough to convince people to check out a new movie. In the case of “Delivery Man,” that would probably be the right choice.
(11/19/13 7:24pm)
27 hours left! Wait, what? The wedding is tomorrow? Why is no one acting like the wedding is tomorrow? Why am I freaking out about this wedding more than the characters? Anyways, here are 27 thoughts for my lovely readers on this not-so-lovely episode.
(11/16/13 5:00pm)
With about half of all marriages in the United States ending in divorce and about a third of all marriages starting from online dating, is it really that ridiculous to believe people could find true love on TV? According to all my friends, yes.
(11/14/13 10:30am)
“Dallas Buyers Club” is an uncomfortably raw and realistic telling of the true story of Ron Woodroof (Matthew McConaughey), a Texas electrician diagnosed with HIV in 1986. Woodroof, who leads a life filled with bull riding, alcohol, cocaine, homophobia and unprotected sex, is told he has one month to live. With no drug available to treat HIV and having been excluded from AZT trials, Woodroof decides to take his healthcare into his own hands. He starts the Dallas Buyers Club, a distribution center for drugs he thought would help HIV–positive and AIDS patients but were unapproved and unavailable to people in the United States. With the help of business partner Rayon (Jared Leto) and their doctor (Jennifer Garner), Woodroof creates a very large business, which tries to save many lives.
(11/13/13 10:21pm)
Hallelujah! This episode was actually good, considering I did not once check my watch or Instagram. Things haven’t looked this promising since a minute before season premiere.
(11/12/13 12:03am)
Disclaimer: the content you are about to read is not quite a recap, but rather an emotional rant about season nine so far and all the disappointment and frustration it brings.
(10/31/13 9:15am)
Ramón Sampedro, played by a Javier Bardem, is a Spanish man who became a quadriplegic at age 25. He spent the next 29 years of his life fighting for his right to an assisted suicide. “Mar Adentro” (“The Sea Inside”) beautifully tells his amazing and true life story.
(10/30/13 12:09am)
Awesome: As usual, most of the episode was really funny.
(10/28/13 10:00am)
In the opening scene of “The Motel Life,” Jerry Lee (Stephen Dorff) barges into the motel room he shares with his brother, Frank (Emile Hirsch), and declares that they need to leave. The Flannigan brothers pack up their few belongings and race to the car. On the ride out of Reno, Jerry Lee reveals he hit a young boy and killed him.
(10/25/13 4:00pm)
If you’re interested in seeing tons of fake blood on a day that’s not Halloween, you should check out “Cheap Thrills.” For anyone else, this film is simply not worth it.
Craig (Pat Healy) is a new father who is down on his luck. He wakes up to find a final eviction notice on his door and then gets fired later that day. He runs into his old friend, Vince (Ethan Embry) at a bar, where the pair meets a couple willing to pay them to do crazy stunts. David Koechner (Champ from “Anchorman”) gives a good performance, while his on-screen wife, Sara Paxton, played a more realistic and relatable character when she was the mermaid in “Aquamarine.”
This dark comedy certainly has some funny lines here and there, but it is not enough to make up for the horribly disgusting scenes. The tasks that Vince and Craig are paid to do keep getting bigger and more dramatic, but there’s nothing particularly clever or witty about them—everything is mere shock value. The situation is humorous, but not enough to support eighty-five minutes of content.
There’s no doubt that times are tough and people will do anything for money—but do we really need a movie to tell us that?
Grade: D
Runtime: 85 minutes
See if you liked: “American Psycho”
(10/24/13 6:24pm)
It’s called the Halloween special: a single episode in between the two halves of "PLL’s" fourth season. But, we should just refer to it as a set–up for the spinoff show “Ravenswood,” because that’s pretty much all it was. On the bright side, they ditched the annoying grayscale tone all the "Ravenswood" scenes used to be filmed in. Someone must have pointed out that it’s 2013, and no one is down to watch a television show without colors.
(10/24/13 4:09pm)
There are 45 hours left until the wedding. So, here’s a list of 45 thoughts about this episode: